Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

On the other hand, we've all seen what happens when the shared pool is dangerously shallow. When people purposefully withhold meaning from one another, individually smart people can do collectively stupid things.

We act in self-defeating ways. In our doped-up, dumbed-down state, the strategies we choose for dealing with our crucial conversations are perfectly designed to keep us from what we actually want. We’re our own worst enemies-and we don't even realize it.

We're designed wrong, When conversations turn from routine to crucial, we're often in trouble, That's because emotions don't exactly prepare us to converse elfectively, Countless generations of genetic shaping drive humans to handle crucial conversations with flying fists and fleet feet, not imelligent persuasion and yar tle attentiveness, For inst

Greta taught us that a small, mental intervention—the simple act of asking a potent question—can have a powerful effect on redirecting our hearts.

When it’s safe, you can say anything.

What do I really want for myself? What do I really want for others? What do I really want for the relationship? Once you’ve asked yourself what you want, add one more equally telling question: How would I behave if I really wanted these results?

Most breakthroughs in life truly are “break-withs.”

DIALOGUE When it comes to risky, controversial, and emotional conversations, skilled people find a way to get all relevant information (from themselves and others) out into the open. That’s

To encourage the free flow of meaning and help others leave silence or violence behind, explore their Paths to Action. Start with an attitude of curiosity and patience. This helps restore safety. Then, use four powerful listening skills to retrace the other person’s Path to Action to its origins. • Ask. Start by simply expressing interest in the ot