Some people don't like themselves. They hide this from themselves by thinking they don’t like other people. They often bristle like a porcupine any time someone gets too close. That, or the opposite: they need to be insulated by other people's skin at all times. These are contrasting expressions of the same fundamental fracture. A person cannot... See more

The problem with fear, and any type of threat to the self, is that awareness of the body becomes lost and replaced by the need to protect the self or to collapse. Suppression is the loss of our ability to feel ourselves. Suppression includes defenses of denial (I’m not really scared, just a little nervous!), intellectualizing (I don’t want to be a

... See more

AVOIDANCE. Avoidance is usually about fear. Emotions and relationships have hurt me, so I will minimize emotions and relationships. People who are avoidant feel most comfortable when the conversation stays superficial. They often overintellectualize life. They retreat to work. They try to be self-sufficient and pretend they don’t have needs. Often,

... See more