ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS/DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES: Big Red Book

Some of these well-meaning parents learned to say affirming statements of love and encouragement. Yet, they still transferred their own self-doubt and lack of self-love in large measures.

The foundation of ACA identification comes from The Laundry List (Problem), which describes a personality who fears people, has difficulty expressing feelings, and who can tolerate a high level of abuse or neglect without realizing the effects of such behavior. The adult child personality, the false self, lives in fear of being shamed and abandoned

Shame is the deep sense that our souls are inherently flawed.

Perfectionism in dysfunctional homes fuels our control and our attempts to control people, places, and things.

We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.

I’ve been through my Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Steps so I know the truth about myself. The truth is that I am a good and loving person who has some flaws. Those flaws are like small cracks in a beautiful vase.

Shame is the deep sense that our souls are inherently flawed.

Adults from divorced homes understand shame and confusion and also identify in ACA.

“inside drug store.” The shelves are stocked with bottles of excitement, toxic shame, self-hate, self-doubt, and stress. Other shelves include canisters of lust, fear, and worry.