We cannot believe there is another way to live. With this attitude, we easily push away suggestions for real help because we do not want to give up our focus on another person. At the core of this learned control is a fear that we will not know who we are if we do not have an addict or dysfunctional person in our lives.

Inner Child – The original person, being, or force which we truly are. Some ACA members call this the True Self.

We also learned that our compulsion to control ourselves or others was a major stumbling block in our ability to let God help us.

We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings

Many adult children constantly survey their homes or relationships, looking for situations that could lead to shame or some other public act of criticism. In addition to fearing shame and abandonment, our hypervigilance is intensified by what many therapists call Post-Traumatic Stress

We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.

Isolation is our retreat from the paralyzing pain of indecision.

“If I have a result in mind when I pursue a course of action, then I am doing my own will.”

Feeling empty inside, they chase after their wants constantly through spending, debting, and comparing their lives to others. Many adult children spend hours looking for bargains or chatting online with little nurturing effect. Other adult children run from store to store craving the latest fashion or technological advancement, but it is never enou