We projected our abandoning parents onto a Higher Power, believing that God was vengeful or indifferent.

We became addicted to excitement.

We also learn how to ask for what we need, instead of manipulating people for something we don’t need.

From the nonalcoholic parent we learn helplessness, worry, black-and-white thinking, being a victim, and self-hate. We learn rage, pettiness, and passive-aggressive thinking. From this parent, we learn to doubt our reality as children.

“If I can hurt you before you hurt me then I will feel powerful or in control.”

The common denominator among adult children from a variety of dysfunctional homes is chronic loss and abandonment.

We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.

Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.

I am more aware of how I overstep my boundaries, and how I try to force things to work the way I want them to work.