ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS/DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES: Big Red Book

Adults from divorced homes understand shame and confusion and also identify in ACA.

Despite what we say, we believe that we are incomplete. We compare ourselves to others and usually come up short.

Shame is the deep sense that our souls are inherently flawed.

codependence means that we constantly look outside of ourselves for love, affirmation, and attention from people who cannot provide it.

False Self – The addicted or codependent self.

The spiritual principles of Step Four are self-honesty and courage.

If your parents did not drink, your grandparents may have drank and passed on the disease of family dysfunction to your parents.

Because of our shaming childhoods, adult children doubt and blame themselves in a knee-jerk reaction that is predictable and consistent yet rarely observed until recovery is encountered. We react instead of thinking about options and then acting.

We cannot believe there is another way to live. With this attitude, we easily push away suggestions for real help because we do not want to give up our focus on another person. At the core of this learned control is a fear that we will not know who we are if we do not have an addict or dysfunctional person in our lives.