We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings

For example, the adaptive behavior of working grueling hours at the expense of health and social life is usually the fear 72 of authority figures or people-pleasing traits in action.

I am more aware of how I overstep my boundaries, and how I try to force things to work the way I want them to work.

The foundation of ACA identification comes from The Laundry List (Problem), which describes a personality who fears people, has difficulty expressing feelings, and who can tolerate a high level of abuse or neglect without realizing the effects of such behavior. The adult child personality, the false self, lives in fear of being shamed and

From the nonalcoholic parent we learn helplessness, worry, black-and-white thinking, being a victim, and self-hate. We learn rage, pettiness, and passive-aggressive thinking. From this parent, we learn to doubt our reality as children.

Critical Parent – The hypercritical and judgmental voice that frequently finds fault in our thoughts and actions. This includes the frequent blaming of ourselves and others.

Before recovery, most adult children assume they are wrong whatever the situation might be. If a mistake is made on the job, the adult child takes responsibility for it. If someone feels upset, we think we might have done something to cause the feelings in another.

As adults 144 we continue to control ourselves and our relationships in an unhealthy manner. This brings abandonment or predictable turmoil. We make promises to do better but eventually return to our obsessive need to compulsively arrange, question, worry, dust, wash, lock, unlock, read, or hypervigilantly survey our thoughts and actions to feel

Many of our parents truly wanted the best for us, but they handed off a sense of being incomplete as a person. We could never win enough awards or finish a project that made us feel whole. For most of us, our parents never said: “You have done enough. Take time to enjoy your accomplishment. Relax.”