Saved by sari
#147: Who’s allowed to want kids?
On the Myth of Motherhood as Self-Improvement
And why I care as someone who has no kids and no desire to have kids
Ines Bellina
Jun 20, 2024
I often warn people I’ve just met that they’re free to follow me on Instagram but cannot hold my Stories against me. “It’s where my Id lives,” I explain. “You have to promise to keep liking me even after watchin... See more
And why I care as someone who has no kids and no desire to have kids
Ines Bellina
Jun 20, 2024
I often warn people I’ve just met that they’re free to follow me on Instagram but cannot hold my Stories against me. “It’s where my Id lives,” I explain. “You have to promise to keep liking me even after watchin... See more
Ines Bellina • On the Myth of Motherhood as Self-Improvement
the cut - june 11 - 2024What If Motherhood Isn’t Transformative at All?
We’re often told that becoming a parent will alter one’s identity. For me, the change never came.
By Anastasia Berg, editor of the Point
Art: March Avery, Evening Reading, 1972/© 2024 Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York; Courtesy of the artist, Private Collection, and BLU
... See more"Parent or childfree" used to be my framework for understanding a dividing difference of adult life. But aging and, yes, friendship, have taught me that there are so many experiences that binary doesn't capture: To want kids but not be able to have them, for physical or financial or logistical reasons. To not want kids but accidentally get pregnant... See more
andrea added
from Ann Friedman
Reader Essay: MY Jenny
written byMelanie Crist
November 18, 2022
I’ve never wanted kids of my own. Which is precisely why I found myself exiting a Pasadena fertility clinic with a grab bag containing an informational booklet, an application for financing, and a pen that contained small plastic sperm swimming around in its cap.
I’ll explain.
... See moreIn some corners of the Internet there’s a fascination with traditionalism, and criticism of the ways the openness and optionality of modernity have left people feeling lost. I’ve always felt like, look, I could never be a traditionalist, because I don’t want to give birth to five kids without anesthesia and spend half of my day cleaning up around t... See more
sari and added
But I wonder what it would look like for financial or personal growth to lead to different, better kinds of communal living instead of an exit from it altogether.
Haley Nahman • #96: Why Do We Aspire to Live Alone?
Keely Adler added
“Those who look to parenthood as a solution to their discontent will typically find that the rewards, though real, are some years in the future.”
Jonathan Rauch • The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50
sari added
There’s a sustained mythology around living alone in America, where personal achievement is foundational to our understanding of growth.
Haley Nahman • #96: Why Do We Aspire to Live Alone?
Keely Adler added