#96: Why Do We Aspire to Live Alone?

I am a massive advocate of ensuring you have some peaceful time alone. After all, I’m a devoted introvert . I love time alone to think. I love long walks where I can muse on ideas and let thoughts churn and mature. But, experiencing something as a group isn’t about thinking.

This is about belonging - it goes to the core of what it is to be human.

Of... See more

Millions of people — and white people in particular — would rather endure physical isolation, generalized loneliness, caregiving exhaustion, and financial precarity than relinquish some of their societal power. That’s a far less optimistic foundational myth than individualism. But it’s a far more honest one.

The aloneness I keep referencing refers to a deep acknowledgement of your own brief place in the world, a small luminescent flicker in this great infinite darkness. The light is for you to bear and yours alone. No one is coming to tell you what to want, when to want it, when to leave and when to fight for anything. For some that feels like youth an... See more

In some corners of the Internet there’s a fascination with traditionalism, and criticism of the ways the openness and optionality of modernity have left people feeling lost. I’ve always felt like, look, I could never be a traditionalist, because I don’t want to give birth to five kids without anesthesia and spend half of my day cleaning up around t... See more

The philosopher Hannah Arendt wrote presciently about the danger of a society of lonely individuals. She defined loneliness not as solitude—since solitude is where one can reflect on their connection to themselves and others and really prepare themselves for encountering others. She described loneliness as isolation and even alienation from others ... See more