On the Myth of Motherhood as Self-Improvement

Unlike her mother, my mom didn’t shirk the practicalities of the job. She read all the parenting theories, pursued all the extracurriculars for both of us and picked the right schools for us to attend. She ran our existence like air traffic control, and she made all that labor invisible. She was good at it, but it was just not who she wanted to be

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What I soon realized is that maintaining a firewall between my “mom” self and the rest of my self was making motherhood much less interesting. The rest of myself was being so challenged — psychologically, spiritually, philosophically, creatively and intellectually — by caring for my son. But I resisted it, and tried to keep care small because nobod... See more

But the issue of children and who looks after them has become, in my view, profoundly political, and so it would be a contradiction to write a book about motherhood without explaining to some degree how I found the time to write it. For the first six months of Albertine’s life I looked after her at home while my partner continued to work. This exp

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In some corners of the Internet there’s a fascination with traditionalism, and criticism of the ways the openness and optionality of modernity have left people feeling lost. I’ve always felt like, look, I could never be a traditionalist, because I don’t want to give birth to five kids without anesthesia and spend half of my day cleaning up around t... See more