Opinion | The Lies Mothers Tell Themselves and Their Children

Seeking reassurance during that first year of parenting two, I turned to the work of the pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. He is perhaps best known for his concept of the “good-enough mother,” the caregiver who, through sometimes failing and frustrating their child, ultimately facilitates the development of the child’s ability to co

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inside. No one wants to think that their mother, that all-forgiving source of limitless unconditional love, occasionally, in a fit of rage or boredom, met her limits. And yet, of course she did. No one wants to know that after your mother finally placed you in your crib, she walked out of the room and screamed into a blanket, or cried in the bathro

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Mothers, often caricatured, come off differently in such tropes. From Portnoy’s Complaint to Lady Bird, from Everybody Loves Raymond to Gilmore Girls, the mother must be overcome because her suffocating embrace is the means of her manipulation. Her presence swells and overwhelms and inhales all the oxygen an independent self needs to breathe. She d

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But I love being a mom. I’m not always great at it—let’s be very clear about that. Sometimes I yell. I don’t enjoy playing make-believe, and I mostly leave the work of crawling on the floor and pushing Hot Wheels around the rug to Ken and the grandparents. Sometimes, I can get very caught up in my work and have a hard time focusing on what my son i... See more

On the Myth of Motherhood as Self-Improvement

And why I care as someone who has no kids and no desire to have kids

Ines Bellina

Jun 20, 2024

I often warn people I’ve just met that they’re free to follow me on Instagram but cannot hold my Stories against me. “It’s where my Id lives,” I explain. “You have to promise to keep liking me even after watchin... See more