Adam Callahan

Instead, couples may find it more productive to focus on the future. In situations where relationships are the priority, research shows that constructive co-reflection—working toward a shared understanding and meaning—is more effective than brooding over one’s own perspective (Wenzel et al., 2023). Couples are also more likely to reach forgiveness ... See more

Focus on the future to recover what was lost in the past

History can provide useful context; but using it to play the blame game can make things worse. The problem with evoking past (particularly irrelevant) offenses is that most couples will disagree on the “truth” of that history. How someone feels in a relationship is subjective, often biased in... See more

The Cult of Done Manifesto

1. There are three states of being. Not knowing, action and completion.


2. Accept that everything is a draft. It helps to get it done.


3. There is no editing stage.


4. Pretending you know what you’re doing is almost the same as knowing what you are doing, so just accept that you know what you’re doing even if you don’t and do it.


5. Banish

... See more

So it’s a good bet that when you step away from your devices, you’ll be spending more time, at least in the near term, with the emotions they were helping you avoid. Fortunately, in most cases, just knowing to expect this will enable you to resist the temptation to scurry back to the screens. (And incidentally, if you doubt that you use technology ... See more

Well one thing you can ask yourself is whether you actually WANT and NEED people's approval and recognition/noticing. What do they have that you don't that makes their attention and approval worth something?

You're gonna say "I don't know I just yearn for it automatically" I bet. But don't let yourself off so easily. Really think about it. Do people... See more

get back on the journey and out of the circle

In our everyday 3D lives, we apply force to matter and get predictable results. We unpack groceries, chop garlic, and switch on a stovetop to boil water for spaghetti. These familiar objects appear to be inert. They do what you make them do. But this model doesn’t port to inner moves. In the subtle realms of mind and emotion, applying force creates... See more

How difficult it is to do as one ought every day without a single interruption. How difficult it is, not to dream up a book, but to write it without lassitude—in a word to be in good heart day after day.