advice, maybe

There will always be too much to do – and this realisation is liberating . Today more than ever, there’s just no reason to assume any fit between the demands on your time – all the things you would like to do, or feel you ought to do – and the amount of time available. Thanks to capitalism, technology and human ambition, these demands keep... See more

When stumped by a life choice, choose “enlargement” over happiness . I’m indebted to the Jungian therapist James Hollis for the insight that major personal decisions should be made not by asking, “Will this make me happy?”, but “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?” We’re terrible at predicting what will make us happy: the question swiftly... See more

The capacity to tolerate minor discomfort is a superpower . It’s shocking to realise how readily we set aside even our greatest ambitions in life, merely to avoid easily tolerable levels of unpleasantness. You already know it won’t kill you to endure the mild agitation of getting back to work on an important creative project; initiating a difficult... See more

The future will never provide the reassurance you seek from it . As the ancient Greek and Roman Stoics understood, much of our suffering arises from attempting to control what is not in our control. And the main thing we try but fail to control – the seasoned worriers among us, anyway – is the future. We want to know , from our vantage point in the... See more

Letting go of control is a big theme in Riley work. In 2022, he told the Louisiana Museum:

If you know what you’re doing in the arts, then you’re doing it wrong. That’s a pretty good maxim. If you don’t know what you’re doing, then you’re on the right track, because you’re open to the whole world of possibilities. You don’t want to already have the

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