Sonya Sukalski
@sonyasukalski
Retired in 2022. I enjoy writing, gardening, hiking, biking, and new ideas.
Sonya Sukalski
Lost in a featureless wasteland of my own mortality, and finding no traction in the reams of scientific studies, intracellular molecular pathways, and endless curves of survival statistics, I began reading literature again: Solzhenitsyn’s Cancer Ward, B. S. Johnson’s The Unfortunates, Tolstoy’s Ivan Ilyich, Nagel’s Mind and Cosmos, Woolf, Kafka,
... See morePaul Kalanithi • When Breath Becomes Air
In our society, the spaces for adults to play are mostly constrained, for example, to sports, or going to the pub. And opportunities to live a life of imagination are reserved for exceptionally privileged people, like designers, actors, artists and film directors. This lack of imagination in our lives is an existential risk for society and... See more
Medium • Rewilding the Imagination
The Fog of Parenting 10/19/2023
I know that is not the fog many people are referring to these days. I don’t mean to diminish the very real fog of war of which I know nothing first hand. But I have always referred to the first 3 years of parenting twins as a desperate effort to claw my way toward sanity through a... See more
That common good is a set of shared commitments. To the rule of law. To democracy. To tolerance of our differences. To equal political rights and equal opportunity. To participating in our civic life. To sacrificing for the ideals we hold in common. To upholding the truth.
We cannot have a functioning society without... See more
spouse, rather than the patient): “We’re gonna fight and beat this thing, Doc.” The armament varies, from prayer to wealth to herbs to stem cells. To me, that hardness always seems brittle, unrealistic optimism the only alternative to crushing despair.
Paul Kalanithi • When Breath Becomes Air
Insightful, and my response, guided by the wisdom of “Stress Less, Accomplish More” is to meditate twice a day, and let all the challenges surface, inform me, and integrate however they need to.
There should be lots of different, human-scale alternative experiences on the internet that offer up home-cooked, locally-grown, ethically-sourced, code-to-table alternatives to the factory-farmed junk food of the internet. And they should be weird.
Anil Dash • The Internet Is About to Get Weird Again
Methodology is one - not the cheapest.
My cancer would go into remission, sparing my life, but the epiphanies sparked by this personal confrontation with death have stuck with me. They’ve led me to reshuffle my priorities and to totally change my life. I spend far more time with my wife and daughters, and moved to be closer to my aging mother. I have dramatically cut down my presence on
... See moreKai-Fu Lee • AI Superpowers: China, Silicon Valley, and the New World Order
Insight from someone living it!
The fatigue of grief is fucking staggering.
Rob Delaney • A Heart That Works
I wish I knew more the context for this quote, and I thank whoever it was that put Rob Delaney’s book on my radar! It has been hard to account for the fatigue. It feels like I do nothing but wait around in the transfusion clinic or at the hospital. And then give up more of what I thought made my life fulfilling. Not that those things really do, or that they are more important than being with my spouse through his bone marrow transplant story. But yeah, the fatigue is real.
I think that most people who say, “Everything happens for a reason,” can fuck off to a frigid cave,
Rob Delaney • A Heart That Works
Every cancer doctor has said some version of, “we don’t know what causes cancer. No two cancers are exactly the same. Certain genes are turned on or off, and we don’t know why.” They also say, “There will be plenty of things to worry about later, so don’t try to do all the worrying right now. We work as a team during the transplant, and when you are in the hospital, because there are better outcomes all around.” What they don’t say is hopefully the one with cancer also has a team. We certainly do, and I have taken a deep dive into gratitude because of it. The neighbors bringing: gluten free everything bagels, roasted chicken, potatoes and carrots, stuffed peppers, vegan chili, vegan chickpea stew, cookies, hangar steak with mushrooms, green beans, broccoli, polenta… Friends checking in, sending poetry, funny and inspiring videos, stories, messages of encouragement. Family checking in much more than usual, offering to come and help with the care-giver responsibilities, helping with the every day chores, telling me about new resources. Friends taking me to tea, organizing a meet at a nearby brewpub, offering for us to stay at their house near the hospital, bringing pumpkins to carve, and offering to come sing Christmas songs.