Sonya Sukalski
@sonyasukalski
Retired in 2022. I enjoy writing, gardening, hiking, biking, and new ideas.
Sonya Sukalski
@sonyasukalski
Retired in 2022. I enjoy writing, gardening, hiking, biking, and new ideas.
I think that most people who say, “Everything happens for a reason,” can fuck off to a frigid cave,
Every cancer doctor has said some version of, “we don’t know what causes cancer. No two cancers are exactly the same. Certain genes are turned on or off, and we don’t know why.” They also say, “There will be plenty of things to worry about later, so don’t try to do all the worrying right now. We work as a team during the transplant, and when you are in the hospital, because there are better outcomes all around.” What they don’t say is hopefully the one with cancer also has a team. We certainly do, and I have taken a deep dive into gratitude because of it. The neighbors bringing: gluten free everything bagels, roasted chicken, potatoes and carrots, stuffed peppers, vegan chili, vegan chickpea stew, cookies, hangar steak with mushrooms, green beans, broccoli, polenta… Friends checking in, sending poetry, funny and inspiring videos, stories, messages of encouragement. Family checking in much more than usual, offering to come and help with the care-giver responsibilities, helping with the every day chores, telling me about new resources. Friends taking me to tea, organizing a meet at a nearby brewpub, offering for us to stay at their house near the hospital, bringing pumpkins to carve, and offering to come sing Christmas songs.
spouse, rather than the patient): “We’re gonna fight and beat this thing, Doc.” The armament varies, from prayer to wealth to herbs to stem cells. To me, that hardness always seems brittle, unrealistic optimism the only alternative to crushing despair.
Insightful, and my response, guided by the wisdom of “Stress Less, Accomplish More” is to meditate twice a day, and let all the challenges surface, inform me, and integrate however they need to.
“Of all countries in the world, America has taken greatest advantage of association and has applied this powerful means of action to the greatest variety of objectives.” --Alexis de Tocqueville, a French political philosopher, visited the United States in the early 1830s and was impressed by the ways Americans associated with one another.
Over the past couple of years my dad and sister have been battling cancer and my mum has had two strokes. This also made them more vulnerable during the coronavirus pandemic. Spending time with them and helping to look after them, plus coming to terms with the idea of losing them, has been a real challenge emotionally, especially as we live in
... See moreVulnerability, fragility, how COVID plays into being immune compromised and living in a household that needs a low microbial load could be a whole book. Maybe this is the place to envision some new corner.