Sonya Sukalski

@sonyasukalski

Retired in 2022. I enjoy writing, gardening, hiking, biking, and new ideas.

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Question: How can I judge myself less harshly and appreciate myself more?

Ram Dass on self-judgment:

I think that part of it is observing oneself more impersonally. I often use this image, which I think I have used already, but let me say it again. That when you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some... See more

Belonging

Judgment gets in the way of belonging

One of the things about the Valley that I find outsiders miss the most is that it feels like it's all moving so fast, and yet, any of the important companies or any of the important products take a decade or more to build. Everything important takes a long time, so a lot of it actually feels quite slow. Long-term orientation is absolutely... See more

Marc Andreessen • Why We Should Be Optimistic About the Future

In our society, the spaces for adults to play are mostly constrained, for example, to sports, or going to the pub. And opportunities to live a life of imagination are reserved for exceptionally privileged people, like designers, actors, artists and film directors. This lack of imagination in our lives is an existential risk for society and... See more

Medium • Rewilding the Imagination

“I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter." I don't want it to be something that just passes.

“My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person.

Why All Love Stories Are Destined to End in Tragedy

Beautiful! I hope if I have to come back and read this that it gives some solace.

Lost in a featureless wasteland of my own mortality, and finding no traction in the reams of scientific studies, intracellular molecular pathways, and endless curves of survival statistics, I began reading literature again: Solzhenitsyn’s Cancer Ward, B. S. Johnson’s The Unfortunates, Tolstoy’s Ivan Ilyich, Nagel’s Mind and Cosmos, Woolf, Kafka,

Paul Kalanithi • When Breath Becomes Air

The tricky part of illness is that, as you go through it, your values are constantly changing. You try to figure out what matters to you, and then you keep figuring it out. It felt like someone had taken away my credit card and I was having to learn how to budget. You may decide you want to spend your time working as a neurosurgeon, but two months

Paul Kalanithi • When Breath Becomes Air

I hope I can find all these great ideas if and when I need them. How different life would be if there were no need to remember, to hoard, to angst about stuff I want to know, or when it might be helpful.

It may be that the most defining characteristic of our times is that, again, walls and weapons feature as prominently now as they once did in medieval times. Porous borders are understood in some quarters to be areas of threat and certain chaos, and whether real or imagined, enforced separation is posited as the solution. Walls, ammunition — they

We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Miraculous things can be accomplished if you give it ten years. A long game will compound small gains to overcome even big mistakes.

Kevin Kelly • 103 Bits of Advice I Wish I Had Known

“Of all countries in the world, America has taken greatest advantage of association and has applied this powerful means of action to the greatest variety of objectives.” --Alexis de Tocqueville, a French political philosopher, visited the United States in the early 1830s and was impressed by the ways Americans associated with one another.