Sublime

What “we” hate about having to deal with “those guys” is a very good predictor of what our clients hate about having to deal with us.

In psychology there are at least two biases that drive this pattern. One is confirmation bias:23 seeing what we expect to see. The other is desirability bias:24 seeing what we want to see. These biases don’t just prevent us from applying our intelligence. They can actually contort our intelligence into a weapon against the truth.

Even scientists who are most concerned with assessing individual differences in personality would concede that our ability to predict how particular people will respond in particular situations is very limited. This “predictability ceiling” is typically reflected in a maximum statistical correlation of .30 between measured individual differences on

High levels of activity in the right hemisphere of the brain, for example, have been linked to optimism and extroversion, while greater activity in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (an area of the brain a few inches behind the

validity”—that is, when the Rorschach reports that a test taker is depressive, or narcissistic, or overly dependent, that person is quite likely not to exhibit those traits at all.

the most successful people perceive their personalities and skills as fluid and are able to represent themselves differently and adaptively.

This can be a lonely type of personality.

What are the consequences of thinking that your intelligence or personality is something you can develop, as opposed to something that is a fixed, deep-seated trait?

Ego-based stories are not just distorted, they also tend to be too general. In actuality, we focus on different aspects of our self-story in different circumstances.