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The issue with reverse projection is the goodness you see in the abuser is a projection of your own qualities. You stay attached to the abuser or give them repeated chances because you believe the good you see is in them, rather than recognising it is your own qualities you have projected onto them.
Emma Rose Byham • Was It Even Abuse?: Restoring clarity after covert abuse.
Both the depressive and the grandiose person completely deny their childhood reality by living as though the availability of the parents could still be salvaged: the grandiose person through the illusion of achievement, and the depressive through his constant fear of losing “love.” Neither can accept the truth that this loss or absence of love has
... See moreAlice Miller • The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self
El Narcisista Pasivo-Agresivo Encubierto: Reconociendo las características y encontrando sanación después del abuso emocional y psicológico oculto
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In relationships, EAPs can come off as very “hot and cold.” One moment, they are pleasant and warm—the next, they are angry or reactive. They often switch from being very loving and adoring of their partner to agitated and resentful. When you are in a relationship with an EAP, it often feels as though you are having to constantly walk on eggshells,
... See moreLeah Aguirre LCSW • Is This Really Love?: Recognizing When You're in a Coercive, Controlling, and Emotionally Abusive Relationship—and How to Break Free
By the time Chris reached dating age he was starving for affection and latched onto the most damaged girl at his school who verbally and psychologically abused him. When she cheated on him, Chris rationalized her behavior as his own fault and worked harder to earn her approval.
Adam Smith • Slaying Your Fear: A guide for people who grapple with insecurity
“When women cannot get what they need — no matter how they change themselves — it hurts, deeply. They react to hurt with anger. If the hurt is not healed, the anger ages into resentment. Accumulated resentment makes a woman bitter.”