Sublime

In order to endure, to survive trauma or even just to stay afloat when life threatens to suck us under, we need to know we are not alone.

Some non-BPs clam up completely. Some leave physically. Some learn to dissociate. There is nothing wrong with leaving if you feel attacked. In fact, there are times when it’s a good thing to do (see chapter 8). The damage comes from remaining passive and silent, absorbing the other person’s criticism while your sense of personal power and self-este

So my goal is to stop abandoning myself—and stay. To trust that I’m strong enough to handle the pain that is necessary to the process of becoming.

Physical abuse Emotional abuse Violent family members Being required to be perfect, rather than yourself Being abandoned by one or both parents A parent’s addiction Needing to be the caregiver of your parent(s) as a child Other people condemning you Being made fun of at school Witnessing violence The death of a loved one Not being recognized by you