Sublime

With the myth that the relationship between parent and child should be unidirectional shattered, the circular potential of this journey comes into view, as we discover that our children contribute to our growth in ways that are perhaps more profound than we can ever contribute to theirs.

And every day the mother would criticize her daughter’s choices. My patient felt ashamed and developed the pathogenic belief that she lacked the wherewithal to make her mother or anyone else happy.

On the parent’s side of the equation, the problem with the traditional approach to parenting is that it rigidifies the ego with its delusions of power. Since our children are so innocent and ready to be influenced by us, they tend to offer little resistance when we impose our ego on them— a situation that holds the potential for our ego to become s

While we believe we hold the power to raise our children, the reality is that our children hold the power to raise us into the parents they need us to become.

take responsibility for mothering yourself, meeting your needs, and finding the mothering you need, you change your life.

the relationship between parent and child exists for the primary purpose of the parent’s transformation and only secondarily for the raising of the child.

What I am describing is really a combination of the roles of Mother as Mentor (providing calibrated help) and Mother as Modulator (ensuring the child doesn’t get overwhelmed).

The Drama of the Gifted Child