Sublime

If men followed this example and used the workplace as a setting to practice relational skills, building community, the male crisis around work could be addressed more effectively.

“I am not fully known to myself because part of what I am is the enigmatic traces of others.”

belligerent,

When we get trauma-triggered in our close relationships, our Wise Adult shuts off, and we are seized by our Adaptive Child. We feel “taken over” and we want to push back. When people first learn about this Adaptive Child part of them, usually their initial instinct is to want to control it, to see it as bad.

only men can initiate men, as only women can initiate women. Women can change the embryo to a boy, but only men can change the boy to a man. Initiators say that boys need a second birth, this time a birth from men.

A MEM loses contact with himself. He is detached from his own feelings, wants, and needs. He learned at an early age to take care of his mother and to discount himself. This crushing of his emerging self in childhood divorces him from the soul of his individuality. His identity is lost.

As the study’s longtime director George Vaillant put it, “Whereas a warm childhood, like a rich father, tends to inoculate a man against future pain, a bleak childhood is like poverty; it cannot cushion the difficulties of life. Yes, difficulties may sometimes lead to post-traumatic growth, and some men’s lives did improve over time. But there is a

It’s typical to resist intrusion or neglect while simultaneously internalizing it: you take in the dysfunctional ways you and the world were seen. Those two forces—reaction and modeling—combine to forge your Adaptive Child.