Sublime

For half a century, psychology has labored to teach us how to raise ourselves up from the inferiority of shame. But we’ve done a terrible job of helping people come down from the superiority of grandiosity—the sense of being above other people, contemptuous of the rules.

Here’s a few things to know about grandiosity and, in particular, about the difference between grandiosity and shame. First of all, they are both lies; they are purely delusional. One human being simply cannot be fundamentally superior or inferior to another. Not fundamentally. Whether you’re a serial killer or a saint, Mahatma Gandhi or a homeless

If you block out the awareness of your own needs, you’re unable to develop true intimacy.

Of the many emerging descriptions of our social brain, for me the simplest and most elegant is the highly regarded Social Baseline Theory of Lane Beckes and James A. Coan, two researchers at the University of Virginia.

7. The Comparison Gap—“Others Are Better Than I Am”

This path develops what’s most lacking in our outwardly oriented society: an “inner greatness.” We’ve been conditioned to associate greatness with people who’ve achieved power or fame in the outside world, such as a Napoleon or a Thomas Edison. We place little value on an inner greatness that can be developed by anyone, regardless of his station in