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MAKE THEM AUTHORS, NOT WITNESSES. People aren’t specific enough when they tell stories. They tend to leave out the concrete details. But if you ask them specific questions—“Where was your boss sitting when he said that? And what did you say in response?”—they are likely to revisit the moment in a more vivid way.
David Brooks • How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
Tahl Raz • 2 highlights
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To make sure the message we sent is the message that’s received, ask the listener to reflect it back.
Marshall B. Rosenberg • Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)
If you are not in a position of authority, then you can help protect troublemakers by making sure they are invited to meetings. And when they do say something that creates disequilibrium, you can choose to be curious: ask them to say more about their idea rather than allow everyone else in the room to ignore them.
Ronald A. Heifetz • The Practice of Adaptive Leadership: Tools and Tactics for Changing Your Organization and the World
Over sixty years ago, Carl Rogers, a pioneer in psychotherapy research, demonstrated that improvement in therapy was associated with a triad of therapist behaviors: genuineness, accurate empathy, and unconditional positive regard.