Sublime

When we face Crucial Conversations, we have three broad options: • We can avoid them. • We can face them and handle them poorly. • We can face them and handle them well.

Sometimes we rely on hints, sarcasm, innuendo, and looks of disgust to make our points. We play the martyr and then pretend we’re actually trying to help. Or maybe, afraid to confront an individual, we blame an entire team for a problem—hoping the message will hit the right target. Whatever the technique, the overall method is the same. We withhold

In short, you move from creating the right mind- and heart-set to developing and utilizing the right skill-set.

Mutual Purpose and Mutual Respect the conditions of dialogue.

Take a moment to absorb that last sentence. It’s not enough for you to have good intentions; the other person must know that this is the case.

sharing your views in a way that is both truthful and least likely to provoke defensiveness

Avoiding involves steering completely away from sensitive subjects. We talk, but without addressing the real issues:

Leadership on the Line by Ronald A. Heifetz

Skilled people Start with Heart. That is, they begin high-risk discussions with the right motives, and they stay focused on those motives no matter what happens.