Sublime

When we find ourselves facing a partner who is core-negative-image-triggered, we usually fight them.

Research indicates that those who stick to traditional male-female roles on the average have the least happy marriages and are less responsive to marital therapy.

“Nor have I ever allowed others to unburden themselves to me—I was unwilling to incur the debt of reciprocation. I avoided all this—until the day, of course”—he turned to face Breuer—“that I shook your hand and agreed to our strange contract.

Many of us are highly likely to end up with somebody with a particularly knotty set of issues which trigger our desires as well as our childlike defensive responses. The answer isn’t usually to shut down the relationship, but to strive to deal with the compelling challenges it throws up with some of the wisdom we weren’t capable of when we first

Am I talking to the mature part of you, the one who’s present in the here and now? This is the part I call the Wise Adult. That’s the part that cares about us. Or am I speaking to a triggered part of you, to your adversarial you and me consciousness? The triggered part of you sees things through the prism of the past.

But, unless she practices her inner and outer freedoms regularly, submission, passivity, and time spent in captivity dull her innate gifts of vision, perception, confidence, and so forth, the ones she needs for standing on her own.

The Passion Trap: How to Right an Unbalanced Relationship by relationship therapist and psychologist Dean C. Delis. This was given to me by

We will start with the good mother. Although she probably does not know it, her roots are found in the philosophy of child-rearing popularized by Rousseau. In this system, the mother must be ever-present, loving, giving, and supportive at all times so that the child will grow up brave, trusting, and self-confident. A woman must similarly provide