Sublime

Les enfants souffrent autant, si ce n’est davantage, d’un manque d’attention soutenue que de mauvais traitements, qu’ils soient physiques ou psychiques. Il s’agit de dégâts par omission plutôt que par perpétration, mais ils n’en sont pas moins graves et durables. Quand leurs parents, dans leur négligence « bienveillante », sont incapables de les

Growing up – and the lesson of the ‘good-enough’ parent – is in part a process of learning that our own desires are not the centre of anyone else’s world. We can be needy and manipulative, bullying or seducing others into pandering to us, but we should expect to be resented for it. Where our behaviour is positive and less self-centred, though,

secure attachment to the father (or to another secondary caregiver) is the most important factor in children compensating for or overcoming an insecure attachment to the mother.46

I believe the problem is separation anxiety, because I have seen the same child be much more cooperative about bedtime when he feels more secure emotionally.

In addition to the three psychological schools of thought described by Pine, recent years have seen the development of a fourth: mentalisation theory (Fonagy & Bateman, 2006). This theory reserves a central place for the ability of people to correctly assess their own and others’ mental states. People develop this ability via “attachment”, the

Whether these needs are miraculously met creates your psychological foundation for relating to the world: trust or mistrust.

La théorie de l’attachement commence avec l’idée que deux buts principaux dirigent le comportement de l’enfant: la sécurité et l’exploration. Un enfant qui se maintient en bonne santé survit; un enfant qui explore et joue développe les aptitudes et l’intelligence nécessaires à la vie adulte