Sublime

Keating explains that as children we all need an appropriate amount of power and control, affection and esteem, and security and survival for healthy psychological grounding. But as we mature, our tendency is to overidentify with one of these programs for happiness, keeping us developmentally and spiritually stuck.

A MEM is typically not individuated, because he is enmeshed with his mother. His identity has been lost in serving her needs.

it is our child self—the condition of our emotional body—that unconsciously drives the focus of our attention.

We will see Winnicott thinking along what will become familiar lines of the relationship between the continuous and the interrupted, the present and the absent, the simple and the complicated in a person’s life.

The more identified people are with their respective roles, the more inauthentic the relationships become.

Attachment theory is based on the assertion that the need to be in a close relationship is embedded in our genes. It was John Bowlby’s stroke of genius that brought him to the realization that we’ve been programmed by evolution to single out a few specific individuals in our lives and make them precious to us.

Through training the brain to seek its own stability, we can ease these terrible sequelae to early childhood neglect and abuse, regardless of the diagnosis given.

internal working models.11 He saw them as maps you developed as a child of what to expect from your caretaker and the world in general, and then from subsequent close relationships.

Attention is the glue that holds your life together.