Sublime

Before the groundbreaking work of Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby, the founders of attachment theory in the fifties and sixties, psychologists had no appreciation of the importance of the bond between parent and child.

Hemingway wrote Perkins from Oak Park that his father had shot himself, leaving a wife, six children, and “damned little money.” His father was the parent Hemingway really cared about. From that day forward his relationship with Perkins deepened. Max became the solid, trustworthy older man in Hemingway’s turbulent life, someone to turn to and rely

As an adult, Alan still stays in close touch with his mother and does whatever he can to help make her life easier.

Flint’s mother died. Theoretically, Flint’s instincts should have urged him to survive. But three weeks later, he went back to the spot where his mother had breathed her last and curled up in a fetal ball. Within a few days, he, too, was dead. An autopsy revealed that there was nothing physically wrong with Flint: no infection, no disease, no handi

They learn to suppress their own intense feelings, particularly of anger, which might be construed by the parents as a sign that these children, too, are going to pieces. Siblings often learn that any outbursts will be met with parental disapproval. To protect their parents, and to reassure themselves that they are not next to become ill, they may

he’s also the director of family counseling at Daystar, a center for kids in Nashville. He’s the author of six books and an accomplished public speaker,

Item. A study of ISIS fighters concluded that almost all had in common “some type of an ‘absent father’ syndrome.”9

Maturity comes when we tend to our inner children and don’t inflict them on our partners to care for.

When you have something to prove, you aren’t free. Even though I didn’t yet know anything about his childhood during our first visit, I could tell that Emma’s father was living in a prison of his own making—he was living within a limited image of who he should be.