Sublime

The path to love begins in our own past and its healing, then moves outward to relationships with others.

Control

Desire

Paying attention and letting go are the twin tools that will be presented throughout these pages.

mindful presence frees us from constricting identification with another’s actions.

The center of our conscious life is called ego. It has two concurrent characteristics: It is functional in that it is the strong grounded activating principle by which we make intellectual assessments and judgments, show feelings appropriately, and relate skillfully to other people. It can also be neurotic when it becomes attached, addicted, dualis

It is in mindfulness that we act in just that way: enduring our unknowing and yet sitting serenely.

Once we understand that love is our true identity, we realize that the skill of learning to love is mostly an undoing of the ego obstructions that have gradually overlaid our natural tendency toward loving. This means letting go of our ego entitlements and inflations. We then look for all the practices that can help that happen, especially those th

The practice sections in this book consist mainly of leading questions meant to challenge you to face and admit your own truth. They are meant to be answered in your journal and, when appropriate, aloud to your partner.