Sublime

For people with healthy attachments, every interaction is a chance to increase intimacy. For people with unhealthy attachments, every interaction is a chance to destroy everything they love.

Numerous studies show that once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one physiological unit. Our partner regulates our blood pressure, our heart rate, our breathing, and the levels of hormones in our blood. We are no longer separate entities. The emphasis on differentiation that is held by most of today’s popular psychology approaches

Again, we must constantly remind ourselves: In a true partnership, both partners view it as their responsibility to ensure the other’s emotional well-being.

“How much is this person capable of intimacy? Is he sending mixed messages or is he genuinely interested in being close?”

Nowhere are adults more dependent than in the relationship they have with their partners, and at no other time was this dependency as strong as it was in childhood. Therefore, the normal emotional dependency in long-term relationships inevitably contains echoes of these earlier attachments. There is an old joke that says that when two people have s

The MEM’s unconscious mind is enforcing his Disloyalty Bind. Making bad choices keeps him dependent on, and loyal to, his mother.