Sublime

who, when the mother does a good-enough job meeting his or her basic needs, feels total adoration.

internal working models.11 He saw them as maps you developed as a child of what to expect from your caretaker and the world in general, and then from subsequent close relationships.

It’s very touching that we live in a world where we have learned to be so kind to children; it would be even nicer if we learned to be a little more generous towards the childlike parts of one another. It sounds strange at first – and even condescending or despairing – to keep in mind that in crucial ways one’s partner always remains a child. On th

“we can see how comforting it is to have someone who will listen to our negative feelings. Children are no different. They need to be able to air their feelings and wishes about their siblings. Even the unsavory

Don’t lock the children into their position in the family constellation (oldest, youngest, middle). Allow each child the opportunity to experience some of the privileges and responsibilities of the other.

“Ears can hear only what emotions will allow.”

“Let your children teach you who they are as they invite you to join in the discovery of their becoming.”

Acknowledging bad feelings between the children led to good feelings.