Scott Sunderland

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself in your way of thinking.

You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

“Eulogies aren’t résumés,” David Brooks wrote.34 “They describe the person’s care, wisdom, truthfulness and courage. They describe the million little moral judgments that emanate from that inner region.”

philosopher Lao Tzu wrote, “Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.

So we might as well live life as if—as the poet Rumi put it—everything is rigged in our favor.16

What can I learn from this? How can I improve? How can I help my partner do this better?

The people who had learned the growth mindset persevered through the rough spots and stalemates to gain more favorable outcomes.

As Robert Wood showed in his study, a growth mindset—by relieving people of the illusions or the burdens of fixed ability—leads to a full and open discussion of the information and to enhanced decision making.

Herodotus, writing in the fifth century b.c., reported that the ancient Persians used a version of Sloan’s techniques to prevent groupthink. Whenever a group reached a decision while sober, they later reconsidered it while intoxicated.