Mounica Veggalam
@mounica_v8
Life and leadership coach. Deeply curious about causing self-transformation for joyful accomplishment.
Mounica Veggalam
mounicaveggalam.substack.com
The intimacy in a self-transforming marriage
The image of an adult relationship that is genuinely intimate- sex-ually, but in every other respect as well-brings to light again the theme of reciprocity first seen in the interpersonal balance. Traveling once more over familiar psychological terrain, the evolution of mean-ing, in the interindividual ba
... See more- Resistance, according to Schelling, is not a separate force, but comes fom the flow itself, and enables the unfolding of what in it is always potentially there; it precipitates the collapsing of its own potential into the actual. He is very clear that this resistance is part of the very same creative force that the resistance is there to resist. Th... See more
- The We is responsible One frame that I’ve found really helpful for creating continuity between I and We is this: I am responsible for taking care of myself (my needs, desires, etc). We are responsible for taking care of my needs, desires etc. But you are not. You might want to help, you might be able to help… or not. But the We always wants ... See more
You don't build relationships talking about what you think. You build relationships by speaking yourself, and listening self; listening for the self there, not listening for the story there. If you listen for self, people will speak their selves. If you listen for crap, people will tell you their crap. If you listen for self, people will tell you t
... See moreDifferentiation occurs by maintaining yourself in the presence of important persons, not by getting away from them. The difference between running away and walking away after you’re “unhooked” is a critical distinction.
(Passionate Marriage pg 64)
The possibility of a self-transforming couple
Among those supports least studied and of which we are most in need of increased understanding are those supports which assist individuals and couples to evolve not only to that place where each can guarantee to the other his or her distinct identity, but which allow persons to share their identities as
... See morehow can my creative superpowers as an artist be channeled into giving extraordinary value and service to others, while sharing my ethos & philosophy along the way?
The hidden risks of a Stage 4-Stage 3 (traditionally male-female) couple:
The institutional partner, that one can be so distinct as to be completely and irremediably alone; for the interpersonal partner, that one can be so close as to lose oneself unrecoverably-are held at bay by the assurance of the continued countervailing influence from the partn
... See more- It seems to me that egos emerge in order to take care of our needs in contexts where we don’t trust the strategy of surrendering to the We. The paradox is that the presence of ego is often one of the main things in the way of the We being able to take care of our needs.
“There world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level we created them at”