Repair and remain sounds simple because it is. But simple is not the same as easy. “For better, for worse,” we say, and everyone likes to stay when it’s the better.
We all live multiple lives in one, and our sense of self continuously dies in the process. So when you feel some fundamental changes occurring within you (i.e. feeling disconnected from certain friends, being discontent with a job you’ve historically enjoyed, questioning your faith, etc.), don’t be too afraid.
The essence of life is that it’s challenging. Sometimes it is sweet, and sometimes it is bitter. Sometimes your body tenses, and sometimes it relaxes or opens. Sometimes you have a headache, and sometimes you feel 100 percent healthy. From an awakened perspective, trying to tie up all the loose ends and finally get it together is death, because it... See more
It is by consciously confronting the certainty of death, and what follows from the certainty of death, that we finally become truly present for our lives. This is the kernel of wisdom in the cliché of the celebrity who claims that a brush with cancer was “the best thing that ever happened” to them: it pitches them into a more authentic mode of... See more
Step 1: identify the versions of yourself most responsible for bad behavior. Assign them names, describe the circumstances where and when they exist and write out their tendencies.
Step 2: list what decisions they are authorized to make, i.e. can they decide whether or not to consume alcohol past 5pm or has... See more
When you define yourself around an identity label you forfeit your ability to self-govern and to discern what you genuinely believe from what others tell you to believe. By defining your self around an identity label, you necessarily allow said label to supersede your self. Most importantly, this identity-first approach (i.e., viewing yourself and... See more