the internet convinced me that consistency was more important than authenticity. but authenticity includes seasons of withdrawal, reflection, and silence. forcing yourself to produce when your soul is asking for rest is violence, not dedication.
"If I wouldn’t want to do this for them, it’s not fair to ask for it myself," they think. But relationships aren’t about mirroring each other's exact wants — they’re about generosity, difference, and negotiating real needs.
In this way, commitment becomes the deepest manifestation of freedom, not its enemy. To stay, not because you must, not because you fear the alternative, but because you want to, is an act of liberation. It is not submission; it is autonomy in duet.
Love can be delusional. It can be a trauma bond. It can be a performance of your own ideal self. Commitment, conversely, must stop being seen as the death of romance. Done well, it’s the scaffold love climbs. It’s the difference between a spark and a fire that keeps you warm. But this requires work – on ourselves, first. Not just learning how to... See more
Today’s illusion of freedom often conceals deeper constraints. We curate love the way we curate images: perfected, filtered, groomed for consumption. Dating apps present partners like products; emotional connection is evaluated with the logic of UX design. Love becomes performance before it becomes presence. We advertise desire before we experience... See more