ANXIETY. The number two reason people don’t see others is that they have so much noise in their own heads, they can’t hear what’s going on in other heads. How am I coming across? I don’t think this person really likes me. What am I going to say next to appear clever? Fear is the enemy of open communication.

the quality of our lives and the health of our society depends, to a large degree, on how well we treat each other in the minute interactions of daily life.

Big questions interrupt the daily routines people fall into and prompt them to step back and see their life from a distance. Here are some of my favorite questions that do that: “What crossroads are you at?” At any moment, most of us are in the middle of some transition. The question helps people focus on theirs. “What would you do if you weren’t a

When you’re first getting to know someone, you don’t want to try to peer into their souls right away. It’s best to look at something together.

I think “And what else?” is the best coaching question in the world. It does two things: It extends the period of curiosity, and it tames your advice monster.