To make habits stick

According to Kaufman, the biggest obstacle to learning new skills is emotion, not intellectual or physical capabilities. Learning a new skill is uncomfortable because it requires you to struggle and feel inadequate at first. You start off with many doubts and frustrations when all you want is for the skill to feel easy and fun.

She explains that when you learn skills easily, you develop a fragile confidence that will crumble under pressure. But when you become competent at a skill after facing hardship and setbacks, you build a strong sense of confidence in yourself and your abilities.

In Indistractable, Nir Eyal says the root of distraction actually comes from inside you. He explains that when you experience discomfort (such as the frustration of learning a new skill), you instinctively look for ways to escape. To prevent this, you must understand and control your internal triggers: First, recognize which unpleasant feeling drove you to find a distraction. Second, record your distractions by noting the time, place, task, feelings you experienced, and details of the distraction. Finally, when you’re tempted by a distraction, tell yourself to wait 10 minutes. By then, you’ll likely have refocused and forgotten about it.