Things that make you go Hmmmm

The framework below is specifically for navigating people you don’t trust, don’t feel comfortable with, or aren’t interested in who also happen to still be in your life. I call it the Spectrum of Contact.

(P.S. Here’s the video version if that’s your Jam)

The Spectrum of Contact

No Contact: No access. No exchange. No rent-free space in your head.

Em... See more

Ever had that friend who’s nice but makes you feel guilty if you don’t comply? Or that family member who "just wants what’s best for you" by making you doubt every decision you make?

That’s not care. That’s control.

“What you encounter, recognize or discover depends to a large degree on the quality of your approach. Many of the ancient cultures practiced careful rituals of approach. An encounter of depth and spirit was preceded by careful preparation.

When we approach with reverence, great things decide to approach us. Our real life comes to the surface and its... See more

the goals that compose your mind, identity, and perspective—often in that order, like a set of concentric circles—filter what you perceive

History written by the victors offers glimpses of marginalized figures, for whom we need to “fabulate” stories to “strain against the limits of the archive” and “represent lives… through the process of narration.” Building relationships between things is a form of authorship too.

Anything like true social justice, mutual aid, or “team human” as I’ve come to call it, happens in that mycelial, connected, doula space where compassion resides and domination has no place: there are no subjects and objects, just relationships.

How do I even write in a way that is appropriate to the moment, when the moment keeps changing? Trump wins (help people breathe), Carter dies (highlight an era where climate change was an accepted fact and a president told us to turn down the heat and wear a sweater), Musk takes power (techno-feudalism, getting off social media, reversion to the... See more

More generally your goal should be not to let anything into your head unexamined, and things don't always enter your head in the form of statements. Some of the most powerful influences are implicit. How do you even notice these? By standing back and watching how other people get their ideas.