Things that make you go Hmmmm

I found the words that name the sickening song that has been playing in my shadows. I call it “Self As Drug” . The song goes like this:

I am valuable when I help others feel better.

I am responsible for regulating the emotions of people I love.

If I say no, I will hurt people.

If I set a boundary, I am betraying them.

If someone is hurting, I am... See more

As for making sense of the world and what’s happening, I don’t think it’s a matter of focusing on those things , but trying to get a sense of what is in between those things. Less attention to the individual pictures on the TV set, and more attention to what is happening on the ground. It has less to do with the news stories we may not be able to... See more

Over the years, I've learned to distinguish between two fundamentally different approaches to therapy: one that helps me cope with broken systems, and another that helps me understand why those systems are broken in the first place.

The first approach keeps me functional within dysfunction—teaching me breathing exercises while the world burns,... See more

Vague Trap Escape Route: Define the problem in simple words --out of your head

Write your thoughts down. Draw the problem. Use a whiteboard. Create a spreadsheet. Talk out loud to a smart person. Go for a walk or run with a specific question.

The act of transforming out of your head to another medium acts like a filtration system, removing the vague... See more

The problem was never information. The problem was that knowing things intellectually and actually integrating them into your decision-making are completely different processes.