Things that make you go Hmmmm
The framework below is specifically for navigating people you don’t trust, don’t feel comfortable with, or aren’t interested in who also happen to still be in your life. I call it the Spectrum of Contact.
(P.S. Here’s the video version if that’s your Jam)
The Spectrum of Contact
No Contact: No access. No exchange. No rent-free space in your head.
Em... See more
(P.S. Here’s the video version if that’s your Jam)
The Spectrum of Contact
No Contact: No access. No exchange. No rent-free space in your head.
Em... See more
How To Navigate People You Don't Trust
In any bond of depth and significance, forgive, forgive, forgive. And then forgive again. The richest relationships are lifeboats, but they are also submarines that descend to the darkest and most disquieting places, to the unfathomed trenches of the soul where our deepest shames and foibles and vulnerabilities live, where we are less than we would... See more
Maria Popova • 18 Life-Learnings From 18 Years of the Marginalian
As a good rule of thumb, "When I hear a story, when should I be especially suspicious?" If you hear a story and you think, "Wow, that would make a great movie!" That's when the "uh-oh" reaction should pop in a bit more, and you should start thinking more in terms of how the whole thing is maybe a bit of a mess.
Tyler Cowen • Be suspicious of stories | Tyler Cowen | TEDxMidAtlantic
when women do minister to men’s hurt feelings, they tend to be rewarded. And when they do not, they are liable to be punished.
Kate Manne • Entitled
There are few things more intoxicating than telling yourself that you're the main character. The plot centers you. The camera follows you. The narrative arc leads back to you, your belief system, and your fulfillment.
Or so you say.
Because you're not actually the main character—you're the director of your own indie film. You get to choose what... See more
Or so you say.
Because you're not actually the main character—you're the director of your own indie film. You get to choose what... See more
Michell C. Clark • The Scripts We Sell Ourselves
all identity is in tension between the ways we know ourselves and the ways others know us: there's the identities we own for ourselves and there are the identities ascribed us by others. And generally the people who are busy being prejudiced against an identity aren't too worried as to whether or not you agree with the identity they're assigning... See more
Captcha Check
Branding for healers might have a different meaning than branding for corporations.
Before big business talked of branding, animals were branded - marked by hot iron to note them as belonging to some farmer.
For healers, it might be that life brands you in some way.
Revealing your brand might mean revealing where you were hurt and marked by life, the terrain of hurt you know well enough to help others with.
It could be that life has branded you in a particular way, marking you as belonging to a certain life -path.
One of the truest things I know about niching is this: our deepest wound is often a doorway to our truest niche.
The places you've struggled in your life and overcome are often the best things you can help your clients with.
People struggle with their niche for years and then they look down and see how life has branded them and, like the tattoo artist might do with an ugly scar, they've made beauty out of and around it.
Isn't it true for your life?
You went through some ugliness and you've turned it into your gift for the world.
And so, for healers, branding might not be a creative act but a revelatory one.
It might be less about sitting down and trying to imagine what it might be and more about revealing to others what it already is.
The chances are that you were branded by life a long time ago.
And it took a long time to heal.
And then longer to adorn it and honour it.
Ah, but the revealing it?
That's often the hardest step.
And so I'll offer this one piece of advice:
Show them your scars, not your wounds.
Show them the places you've healed not the places you haven't.
Keep healing your wounds but keep those places where you're still tender and vulnerable to those you trust.
It might be that you don't need to go through a branding process but that you already have been.
It might be that you've become the person you needed when you were younger and who others, who are younger, need now.
I have a short YouTube video that goes into this idea further. If you'd like to learn more, comment the word 'BRANDING' below.
Every choice that we make individually and collectively is a kind of prayer that aligns us with a certain reality and a certain future. It's a declaration of what a human being does in this circumstance. It says, Here is who I want to be. Here is the world I want to live in.
Charles Eisenstein • Find the common thread
If I could time travel, this is the seven-word lesson that I would tell the people-pleasing version of myself: "the wrong people should love you less ."
I would have told him that the people who can only love a filtered version of you aren't equipped to love the real you.
I would have explained that losing someone because you finally showed up... See more
I would have told him that the people who can only love a filtered version of you aren't equipped to love the real you.
I would have explained that losing someone because you finally showed up... See more