Things that make you go Hmmmm

As Maya Angelou famously advised, when people tell you who they are, believe them. Just as important, however, when people try to tell you who you are, don’t believe them. You are the only custodian of your own integrity, and the assumptions made by those that misunderstand who you are and what you stand for reveal a great deal about them and... See more

Social Dynamics = Energy Economics

Every social interaction is a transaction. The currency? Neurological data. Broadcasted from your body via your electromagnetic field. You are constantly transmitting—consciously or not.

In healthy relationships, this data is exchanged mutually. Nourishing. Balancing. Reciprocal. You give, you receive. Simple.

But... See more

I spent years believing that finding my voice would save me—as if the perfect arrangement of words could heal all wounds and bridge every misunderstanding.

The framework below is specifically for navigating people you don’t trust, don’t feel comfortable with, or aren’t interested in who also happen to still be in your life. I call it the Spectrum of Contact.

(P.S. Here’s the video version if that’s your Jam)

The Spectrum of Contact

No Contact: No access. No exchange. No rent-free space in your head.

Em... See more

Emotional Theft Is Still Theft

When you comply with this kind of behavior, you’re giving them something real. Something expensive. Your energy .

And make no mistake—emotions cost energy. If you’ve ever had a sobbing, heaving, body-shaking cry, you know: it takes a toll. You’re physically drained afterward.

So when someone uses your biological... See more

What Would It Be Like to Restore Sanity?

What would it be like to work together again in creative and generous ways?

What would it be like to be curious about who you’re with rather than judging or fearing them?

What would it be like to engage together in exploring possibilities rather than withdrawing in conflict or disagreement?

What would it be... See more

A selfish jerk is more likely to respect your boundaries.

Dr. Hirsch and Dr. Weisner say that true narcissists will often react negatively to your boundaries with aggressive behavior, such as insults and argumentativeness, or pressure to accommodate their request. “That typically happens when it feels insulting or aggressive (to them) that you have... See more