Things that make you go Hmmmm

The internet has made us all cargo cultists to some degree. We see someone successful describe their process and we assume that their success flows from that process. We copy the external forms without understanding which elements actually matter. Maybe the successful person's elaborate morning routine contributed to their achievements, or maybe... See more

The framework below is specifically for navigating people you don’t trust, don’t feel comfortable with, or aren’t interested in who also happen to still be in your life. I call it the Spectrum of Contact.

(P.S. Here’s the video version if that’s your Jam)

The Spectrum of Contact

No Contact: No access. No exchange. No rent-free space in your head.

Em... See more

In his famous 2005 Stanford Commencement Address, Steve Jobs described how we cannot understand the connective threads of our lives without looking back--a sort of "rear view mirror" Bucket List that only reveals itself by studying our own past.

Here is how Jobs summarized it: "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them... See more

Being wanted is very different than being valued and recognizing the difference is life changing work.

I found the words that name the sickening song that has been playing in my shadows. I call it “Self As Drug” . The song goes like this:

I am valuable when I help others feel better.

I am responsible for regulating the emotions of people I love.

If I say no, I will hurt people.

If I set a boundary, I am betraying them.

If someone is hurting, I am... See more

Vague Trap Escape Route: Define the problem in simple words --out of your head

Write your thoughts down. Draw the problem. Use a whiteboard. Create a spreadsheet. Talk out loud to a smart person. Go for a walk or run with a specific question.

The act of transforming out of your head to another medium acts like a filtration system, removing the vague... See more