Things that make you go Hmmmm

Here's what I suspect would actually happen if I could send a letter back: I'd agonize over what to say, write something carefully calibrated and wise, and my younger self would read it with mild interest, think "yeah, yeah, I get it," and then continue making exactly the mistakes I made. Maybe they’d have a few new anxieties about whether he was... See more

More generally your goal should be not to let anything into your head unexamined, and things don't always enter your head in the form of statements. Some of the most powerful influences are implicit. How do you even notice these? By standing back and watching how other people get their ideas.

The problem was never information. The problem was that knowing things intellectually and actually integrating them into your decision-making are completely different processes.

Pull back and say, "What are the messages, and what are the stories that no one has an incentive to tell?" and start telling yourself those, and see if any of your decisions change. That's one simple way - you can never get out of the pattern of thinking in terms of stories, but you can improve the extent to which you think in stories and make some... See more

We can’t adjust course much less make sense of the last new thing before the next new thing comes along.

Maybe we shouldn’t try to.

Yes, we continue to care about things. I am not saying to move into a state of denial — but I am choosing an alternative to watching the news all day in a state of paralysis when I could be attending to real people,... See more

here's what surprised me: the real power isn't in speaking up—it's in knowing when to stay silent.

As I found my voice, the pendulum swung too far. I developed a "the more, the better" mentality, believing that maximum communication was the antidote to my lifelong feeling of being misunderstood. My anxiety pushed me into over-explaining,... See more

The framework below is specifically for navigating people you don’t trust, don’t feel comfortable with, or aren’t interested in who also happen to still be in your life. I call it the Spectrum of Contact.

(P.S. Here’s the video version if that’s your Jam)

The Spectrum of Contact

No Contact: No access. No exchange. No rent-free space in your head.

Em... See more

Vague Trap Escape Route: Define the problem in simple words --out of your head

Write your thoughts down. Draw the problem. Use a whiteboard. Create a spreadsheet. Talk out loud to a smart person. Go for a walk or run with a specific question.

The act of transforming out of your head to another medium acts like a filtration system, removing the vague... See more

But that’s not why you should write.

You should write because when you know that you’re going to write, it changes the way you live.