@Lumi

You have to decide that you're worth protecting—because if you refuse to trust your own discernment and set your own boundaries, you will set yourself up for unnecessary suffering.

If you can't tell anybody else "no," you'll run out of energy to tell yourself "yes."

Now I understand that silence can be more powerful than speech. Not speaking up can sometimes be a greater act of self-love than any amount of self-expression. When you stop explaining yourself to people who are determined to misunderstand you, you reclaim your energy for the connections that truly matter.

When I began to embrace selective silence—when I learned that I don't need to explain myself to everyone—I found something more powerful than expression. I found discernment in the spaces between words. I found boundaries in the power of pause. I found myself in the sanctuary of silence.

I don't over-explain myself as often now, nor chase after... See more

here's what surprised me: the real power isn't in speaking up—it's in knowing when to stay silent.

As I found my voice, the pendulum swung too far. I developed a "the more, the better" mentality, believing that maximum communication was the antidote to my lifelong feeling of being misunderstood. My anxiety pushed me into over-explaining,... See more

I spent years believing that finding my voice would save me—as if the perfect arrangement of words could heal all wounds and bridge every misunderstanding.

If I could time travel now, I wouldn't just tell my people-pleasing self that "the wrong people should love you less." I'd sit with him in his fear and say: "When they do love you less, your heart will break—and that's exactly what needs to happen."

I'd tell him that the ache he feels when someone walks away isn't failure—it's his soul finally... See more

Not every relationship survived the hall of mirrors.

Some friendships that I thought were built on solid ground crumbled when we stopped pretending that the foundation wasn't already cracked.

Some people who claimed to love me couldn't handle the weight of my unfiltered thoughts, my newly-discovered boundaries, or my refusal to shrink back into the... See more

When I began to release my people-pleasing tendencies, I told myself that I was writing a new chapter in my life. I imagined myself on some sort of hero's journey, not knowing that I was actually walking into a hall of mirrors.

I assumed that my newfound commitment to self-advocacy would deepen every relationship in my life. I pictured the moment in... See more

If I could time travel, this is the seven-word lesson that I would tell the people-pleasing version of myself: "the wrong people should love you less ."

I would have told him that the people who can only love a filtered version of you aren't equipped to love the real you.

I would have explained that losing someone because you finally showed up... See more