@Lumi

Know What You’re

Not

Available For

This one goes back to knowing your energetic needs. We’ve all done relationships the wrong way. What did you learn from that? Alchemizing relational trauma into lessons is a more fruitful use of your attention than ruminating on the past. Here are some self reflections to consider:

✍️ In what ways are my failed... See more

1. Articulate Your Energetic Needs To Yourself

Did you know the heart produces the strongest electromagnetic field of any organ in the body? Your electromagnetic field can be detected several feet away from your meat and bones. Your energy is very real. That means tending to your energetic diet is JUST as important as eating food. I believe our... See more

I have a question. Why do we typically reserve the function of a “conscious” relationship for romantic shapes only?

I found the words that name the sickening song that has been playing in my shadows. I call it “Self As Drug” . The song goes like this:

I am valuable when I help others feel better.

I am responsible for regulating the emotions of people I love.

If I say no, I will hurt people.

If I set a boundary, I am betraying them.

If someone is hurting, I am... See more

The framework below is specifically for navigating people you don’t trust, don’t feel comfortable with, or aren’t interested in who also happen to still be in your life. I call it the Spectrum of Contact.

(P.S. Here’s the video version if that’s your Jam)

The Spectrum of Contact

No Contact: No access. No exchange. No rent-free space in your head.

Em... See more

Here’s the truth no one tells you. Betrayal isn’t just interpersonal. It’s neurological.

It corrupts your internal compass. It warps your signal detection. And if you want to heal, you don’t need vague affirmations. You need precision tools.

These three questions are my tools now. And no one gets access to my inner life unless the answer to all... See more

There are three kinds I use to filter every relationship in my life now. No exceptions. No sentimentality. Just signal over noise.

1. Can I trust you with my

thoughts

?

Can I think out loud around you without punishment? Can we disagree without collapse? Can I be curious without you feeling threatened?

If I say something true to me and your first... See more

o how do you reprogram a nervous system trained to trust the devil it knows?

You stop asking “how do I trust again?” That’s the wrong question. You’re already trusting. Just the wrong patterns, the wrong people, the wrong cycles.

The better question is: what am I trusting them with ?

You don’t need blanket trust. You need targeted trust . Functional... See more

let’s talk about patterns.

Because trust isn’t about love, loyalty, or how someone makes you feel in the moment. It’s about what they do. Consistently. Predictably. Especially when it’s inconvenient.

Trust is pattern recognition.

Not sexy. Not sentimental. But clean. And if your perception has been used against you, clean is sacred.