The Art of Conversation

Crossing the uncanny valley of conversational voice

There is the kindness of ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ And the kindness of “I was wrong, I’m sorry.” The small kindnesses that smooth our interactions and help other people feel as though you’re aware of them .

Seth Godin • Three types of kindness

You can uncover something interesting about nearly anyone if you converse with curiosity instead of apathy, greed, mistrust, or resignation. And if you don’t happen to uncover something fascinating about the other person—see this as your fault, not theirs. Why? If you blame others for poor conversations you surrender control and condemn yourself to

James Buckhouse • How to Say Hello

So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.

Dale Carnegie • How To Win Friends and Influence People

Dig deeper. When you engage in a conversation, don’t leave it too quickly.

Debra Fine • The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression!

Find that approachable person and include him or her in conversation. Chances are, that person is feeling as alone as you are.

Debra Fine • The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression!

We become better conversationalists when we employ two primary objectives. Number one: Take the risk. It is up to us to take the risk of starting a conversation with a stranger.

Debra Fine • The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression!

• Be careful with business acquaintances. You wouldn’t want to open a conversation with: How’s your job at______? What if that person just got fired or laid off? Be careful when you’re asking about an acquaintance’s spouse or special friend; you could regret it. • Don’t act like you’re an FBI agent. Questions like What do you do?, Are you married?,