Sunlight

The afternoon is later than it feels. The sky becomes a sunsetting yellow. The kind of color a cowboy would have to walk toward. The window above my head opens, and Lee calls out to me that some game is on. I look toward the door where, always one second ahead, there is the possibility of myself. I think, Don't hurry. I stand slow. But don't wait.

What brings fulfillment is being in a certain form of reciprocal relationship with the rest of the world, including other people; you might liken it to a dance in which you alternatingly lead and follow. Whereas a relationship in which you unquestionably have the upper hand at all times is no relationship at all.

People who loved me kept me alive. By telling them that I wanted to die and describing to them the reality of that pain, they took more and better care of me. In suicidal despair, the best resource is an attentive, capable, and generous person. In my case, my wife, mother, and sister helped me meet my needs: they ensured I didn't hurt myself; they

“If I am not in the world simply to adapt to it, but rather transform it, and if it is not possible to change the world without a certain dream or vision for it, I must make use of every possibility there is not only to speak about my utopia, but also to engage in practices consistent with it.”