as I spend more time away from the internet– being with my family, being in nature, reflecting on my childhood– it’s become clearer to me that lots of my frenetic online poasting over the years was a coping mechanism, a response to feeling fragmented, disconnected, unlovable
“Gnosis should be an experience of your own life, a plant grown on your own tree. Foreign gods are a sweet poison, but vegetable gods you have raised in your own garden are nourishing. They are perhaps less beautiful but they have stronger medicine.”
Carl Jung
I work best from a place of zero ego and zero hope. I call this state being “lower than a worm.” A feeling that nothing will ever come of what I’m working on is crucial. A feeling of my smallness in relation to the world. I gotta be below the dirt. I am nothing and nobody. That frees me up. Who cares what a worm thinks, you know?
“Do you think that I count the days? There is only one day left, always starting over: it is given to us at dawn and taken away from us at dusk.” -Jean-Paul Sartre
“All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.”