I meet a lot of people searching for something (career, relationship, etc). And yet, when it’s put in front of them, they won’t pursue it because they fear pain (getting hurt, failure, etc.). So they unconsciously (and expensively) trade self protection for misery.
In other words, siblings are forced together, and then suddenly they’re not. The independence of adulthood—when proximity is no longer required and the obligations lessen—creates opportunities for siblings to build, repair, or discard the relationships of their youth, to stay stuck in or break free of the roles they played as children.
You’ve been duped into thinking you can create a life without danger, one liberated from constraints and uncomfortable emotions, and that such a life is desirable. But you can’t, and it’s not. If you connect with someone and it comes with the risk of losing something, good. You’re alive!
life’s lines of closeness. whew! this made me emotional.
social theory: the best way to make new friends is to invite people to do an activity that will occupy enough of their brain capacity such that their defenses will be down and they’ll be a more open version of themselves
It is our relationships are the most impactful in creating overall life satisfaction. Yet few of us are putting intentional effort to make sure that they actually bring a satisfaction. Most people are expecting relationships to be satisfying automatically without having to put in intentional work.
All relationships go... See more