I meet a lot of people searching for something (career, relationship, etc). And yet, when it’s put in front of them, they won’t pursue it because they fear pain (getting hurt, failure, etc.). So they unconsciously (and expensively) trade self protection for misery.
A relationship, notably, is not an algorithm. It is a gestalt. Far be it from me to say that I’ve figured out what relationships really are or really mean, but I know there is an intangible force formed between the centres of people that sits beyond the limits of interpretation, that is larger than itself and both of you, that cannot be explained... See more
In other words, siblings are forced together, and then suddenly they’re not. The independence of adulthood—when proximity is no longer required and the obligations lessen—creates opportunities for siblings to build, repair, or discard the relationships of their youth, to stay stuck in or break free of the roles they played as children.
The way I think about coaching is very much how I think about parenting, and I think it translates in lots of other places, that your ability to drive change is about the quality of your relationship, not your hierarchy.
social theory: the best way to make new friends is to invite people to do an activity that will occupy enough of their brain capacity such that their defenses will be down and they’ll be a more open version of themselves