Relationships

ritualized, compulsive self-disclosure is not intimacy

it’s often a defense mechanism, one that masquerades as vulnerability but actually kills erotic charge, polarity, and mystery

shared experience, unspoken tension, and real-time attunement are the components of intimacy

Instead of asking "Are you the one," ask two questions of each of you. Do I accept my partner despite their shortcomings? Do I commit to nurture them to achieve what is important to them? And likewise, do they accept me and do they commit to me? All you need is four yeses.