recovery

Old paradigms die hard. Puking, sweating, convulsing every vestige of What No Longer Works into a heaping pile of shitty compost that will eventually grow something new and beautiful, but not until you’re scraped raw of every notion of what that might be.

It sometimes feels like a shift that changes when observed, whose effects neutralize if paying too close of attention for whether “this” shift will be “the” shift. It’s perplexing that a salvific shift could itself be cunning, baffling, and powerful, not just the addiction.

“Things became a lot easier when I no longer expected to win. When you understand that, you abandon your masterpiece and sink into the real masterpiece.” - Leonard Cohen

The three elements I've found most helpful in changing harmful habits and patterned behavior (addictions):

1. First, pause and notice that you're feeling something uncomfortable (most don't realize this) and that you're hoping this pattern will make it go away. Get curious about what that feeling actually is. Be with it.


2. Remind yourself of the consequen

... See more

The least sexy advice on behaviour change nobody wants to hear?

Lower your expectations.

We have a tendency to set goals in states of either excitement or desperation.

Which leads us to massively overestimate what we can commit to.

Especially in the beginning, prioritise ease over effectiveness.

Most people live their lives in between these 2 emotions-

1. Hope that if they achieve something, they will find happiness.

2. Fear that if they lose what they have, they will never be happy.

The day you understand neither of them are actually true is the day you are free.

It’s common for addicts to realize that it’s addiction all the way down. While some of us have had more “extreme” addictions, all of us have been captured by a recurring false possibility that a certain solution will ease our pain, only to make our problems and pain worse.

It’s baffling how susceptible we are to this progressive, possibility-narrow... See more