Reconciling

most people don’t totally understand the meaning of guilt, an assertion that changed my view on the topic entirely. Dr. Becky posited that true guilt arises when we act out of alignment with our own values, but we often use the word guilt to describe something very different: the emotional discomfort we feel when our values-aligned decision trigger... See more

we can simply invite you to pause, get off the rumination treadmill, and spend that time detangling rather than spinning.

What is mine to carry, what is theirs, what is God’s?

In what ways might I be over-functioning?

What isn’t clear right now? What is clear?

What assumptions am I making?

What do they want? Can I give it to them? What do I want?

What... See more

Autobiographical vs. Empathic Listening

When we listen autobiographically, we turn the other person’s story into our story. We filter everything they say through our own experiences, values, and perspective.

When we listen empathically, we create space for others to share their perspective and emotions. And in the process we build a deeper sense of ... See more

race was invented as a way to classify some people as less than human such that they could be exploited by others

the rise of white Christian nationalism and the adaptation of white evangelicalism to a form of dominating partisanship is felt strongly by many in multiracial congregations. A particular stress and strain is being exerted on these tender communities. What, I’ve wondered, does the reconciliation movement look like as racial antagonisms are provoked... See more