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But for most of us, if we’re being honest with ourselves, the temptation is often to exaggerate potential consequences, so as to spare ourselves the burden of making a bold choice. (It’s a particular peril among the progressive-minded, I’ve noticed, to take the fact that a given choice might be unfeasible for the underprivileged as a reason not to

But even if we follow Freud in assuming that the origins of masochism lie in childhood, in a state of incomplete development, we may imagine masochism as leading toward completion in adulthood. The ability to hold paradox and ambivalence, and to experience impossible unions, belongs to maturity. These attributes, intrinsic parts of the experience o

War breaks reason's promise. Reason is neither pedigree nor algorithm. Reason is using language to make and keep peace.

What feels like fun to me, but work to others? The mark of whether you are made for a task is not whether you love it but whether you can handle the pain of the task easier than most people. When are you enjoying yourself while other people are complaining? The work that hurts you less than it hurts others is the work you were made to do.

Cancer spends 80 percent of its life undetectable, then takes over the body in months. Bamboo can barely be seen for the first five years as it builds extensive root systems underground before exploding ninety feet into the air within six weeks. Similarly, habits often appear to make no difference until you cross a critical threshold and unlock a n

If the sudden resignation and the wild affair do not subvert the telic orientation—if such popular tokens of the midlife crisis miss that particular point—we should turn with appreciation to a third great stereotype: buying a motorbike or sports car. The appeal of doing so has many sides, but one of them is a switch in focus from the value of getti

Nothing sustains motivation better than belonging to the tribe. It transforms a personal quest into a shared one. Previously, you were on your own. Your identity was singular. You are a reader. You are a musician. You are an athlete. When you join a book club or a band or a cycling group, your identity becomes linked to those around you. Growth and