On the delusion that life will one day magically become perf...

On the delusion that life will one day magically become perfect

Success isn't won in a lottery. Neither is happiness. Neither is wealth. They're earned over decades through hard work. Sure, it can happen to a fraction of the population, but odds are it won't happen to you. And for some reason many people never recognize this, or recognize it too late.

Erikc Perez-Perez

Not using a phone taught me what a phone is really for. It’s not for communicating with other people, getting directions, reading articles, looking at pictures, shopping for products, or playing games. A phone is a device for muting the anxieties proper to being alive. This is what all its functions and features ultimately achieve: cameras deliver ... See more

Gilbert argues that we’re bedeviled by a “fundamental misconception about the power of time” and a dangerous misconception known as “the end of history illusion” — at any point along our personal journey, we tend to believe that who we are at that moment is the final destination of our becoming. Which, of course, is not only wrong but a source of m... See more

Maria Popova • The Psychology of Your Future Self and How Your Present Illusions Hinder Your Future Happiness

People aren’t really looking to be economically stable before they start families; they’re looking to be existentially stable. They will opt-out of important life decisions altogether because they are waiting for the day when they will feel like more of a confident person with a firmer sense of self before making a commitment—not knowing that it’s

"...I have this feeling, that all it will take will be one moment, even a tiny moment, provided it's the correct one. Like a cord suddenly snapping and a thick curtain dropping to the floor to reveal a whole new world, a world full of sunlight and warmth. Mr Ryder, you look utterly incredulous. Am I completely mad to believe this? That despite all

“The idea of the future, pregnant with an infinity of possibilities, is thus more fruitful than the future itself,” Bergson wrote, “and this is why we find more charm in hope than in possession, in dreams than in reality.” Once again, the seemingly dispiriting message here is actually a liberating one. Since every real-world choice about how to liv... See more

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

Deferred Happiness Syndrome:

The common feeling that your life hasn't begun, that your present reality is a mere prelude to some idyllic future. This idyll is a mirage that'll fade as you approach, revealing that the prelude you rushed through was in fact the one to your death.

Gurwinder Bhogal • 40 Mind-Expanding Concepts

It's a question most of us could do with asking ourselves. I think virtually everyone, except perhaps the very Zen or very old, goes through life haunted to some degree by the feeling that this isn't quite the real thing, not just yet – that soon enough, we'll get everything in working order, get organised, get our personal issues resolved, but th

Oliver Burkeman • What if You Never Sort Your Life Out? | Oliver Burkeman

Susan would complain that the present, the life she was living moment to moment, felt unreal to her. Only the future really mattered, for that was where her ideal life resided. “If I just wait a little longer”, she would remark in a tone of wry despondency, “there’ll be this magically transformative event and everything will come right.”

This belie

“'When you found me wandering these streets just now, Mr Ryder, I wasn't simply taking the air as I pretended. I was trying to prepare myself. Because the possibility you mention, it naturally did occur to me. A night like tonight. Yes, many things are possible. So I was preparing myself. And I don't mind confessing to you, I am at this moment a li

To the kids who look like me (and the ones who don’t) don’t let anyone dim your light

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On the idea that magic only happens when you’ve paid your dues - it doesn’t happen magically on its own