On the delusion that life will one day magically become perf...

On the delusion that life will one day magically become perfect

Success isn't won in a lottery. Neither is happiness. Neither is wealth. They're earned over decades through hard work. Sure, it can happen to a fraction of the population, but odds are it won't happen to you. And for some reason many people never recognize this, or recognize it too late.

Erikc Perez-Perez

"...I have this feeling, that all it will take will be one moment, even a tiny moment, provided it's the correct one. Like a cord suddenly snapping and a thick curtain dropping to the floor to reveal a whole new world, a world full of sunlight and warmth. Mr Ryder, you look utterly incredulous. Am I completely mad to believe this? That despite all

It's a question most of us could do with asking ourselves. I think virtually everyone, except perhaps the very Zen or very old, goes through life haunted to some degree by the feeling that this isn't quite the real thing, not just yet – that soon enough, we'll get everything in working order, get organised, get our personal issues resolved, but th

Oliver Burkeman • What if You Never Sort Your Life Out? | Oliver Burkeman

Gilbert argues that we’re bedeviled by a “fundamental misconception about the power of time” and a dangerous misconception known as “the end of history illusion” — at any point along our personal journey, we tend to believe that who we are at that moment is the final destination of our becoming. Which, of course, is not only wrong but a source of m... See more

Maria Popova • The Psychology of Your Future Self and How Your Present Illusions Hinder Your Future Happiness

“The idea of the future, pregnant with an infinity of possibilities, is thus more fruitful than the future itself,” Bergson wrote, “and this is why we find more charm in hope than in possession, in dreams than in reality.” Once again, the seemingly dispiriting message here is actually a liberating one. Since every real-world choice about how to liv... See more

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

To the kids who look like me (and the ones who don’t) don’t let anyone dim your light

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On the idea that magic only happens when you’ve paid your dues - it doesn’t happen magically on its own

Susan would complain that the present, the life she was living moment to moment, felt unreal to her. Only the future really mattered, for that was where her ideal life resided. “If I just wait a little longer”, she would remark in a tone of wry despondency, “there’ll be this magically transformative event and everything will come right.”

This belie

“— you know, I've either had a family, a job, something
has always been in the
way

but now
I've sold my house, I've found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I'm going to have a place and
the time to
create.'

no baby, if you're going to create
you're going to create whether you work
16 hours a day i

"Are you still under the illusion that you'll one day reach a point in your life where you no longer have any problems?"

Oliver Burkeman • What if You Never Sort Your Life Out? | Oliver Burkeman

People aren’t really looking to be economically stable before they start families; they’re looking to be existentially stable. They will opt-out of important life decisions altogether because they are waiting for the day when they will feel like more of a confident person with a firmer sense of self before making a commitment—not knowing that it’s