On the delusion that life will one day magically become perf...

On the delusion that life will one day magically become perfect

Success isn't won in a lottery. Neither is happiness. Neither is wealth. They're earned over decades through hard work. Sure, it can happen to a fraction of the population, but odds are it won't happen to you. And for some reason many people never recognize this, or recognize it too late.

Erikc Perez-Perez

It's a question most of us could do with asking ourselves. I think virtually everyone, except perhaps the very Zen or very old, goes through life haunted to some degree by the feeling that this isn't quite the real thing, not just yet – that soon enough, we'll get everything in working order, get organised, get our personal issues resolved, but th

Oliver Burkeman • What if You Never Sort Your Life Out? | Oliver Burkeman

Man lives by time. Inventing the future has been his favorite game of escape. We think that changes in ourselves can come about in time, that order in ourselves can be built up little by little, added to day by day. But time doesn’t bring order or peace, so we must stop thinking in terms of gradualness. This means that there is no tomorrow for us t... See more

People aren’t really looking to be economically stable before they start families; they’re looking to be existentially stable. They will opt-out of important life decisions altogether because they are waiting for the day when they will feel like more of a confident person with a firmer sense of self before making a commitment—not knowing that it’s

Not using a phone taught me what a phone is really for. It’s not for communicating with other people, getting directions, reading articles, looking at pictures, shopping for products, or playing games. A phone is a device for muting the anxieties proper to being alive. This is what all its functions and features ultimately achieve: cameras deliver ... See more

Susan would complain that the present, the life she was living moment to moment, felt unreal to her. Only the future really mattered, for that was where her ideal life resided. “If I just wait a little longer”, she would remark in a tone of wry despondency, “there’ll be this magically transformative event and everything will come right.”

This belie

“— you know, I've either had a family, a job, something
has always been in the
way

but now
I've sold my house, I've found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I'm going to have a place and
the time to
create.'

no baby, if you're going to create
you're going to create whether you work
16 hours a day i

Gilbert argues that we’re bedeviled by a “fundamental misconception about the power of time” and a dangerous misconception known as “the end of history illusion” — at any point along our personal journey, we tend to believe that who we are at that moment is the final destination of our becoming. Which, of course, is not only wrong but a source of m... See more

Maria Popova • The Psychology of Your Future Self and How Your Present Illusions Hinder Your Future Happiness

“'When you found me wandering these streets just now, Mr Ryder, I wasn't simply taking the air as I pretended. I was trying to prepare myself. Because the possibility you mention, it naturally did occur to me. A night like tonight. Yes, many things are possible. So I was preparing myself. And I don't mind confessing to you, I am at this moment a li

"Are you still under the illusion that you'll one day reach a point in your life where you no longer have any problems?"