On the delusion that life will one day magically become perf...

On the delusion that life will one day magically become perfect

Success isn't won in a lottery. Neither is happiness. Neither is wealth. They're earned over decades through hard work. Sure, it can happen to a fraction of the population, but odds are it won't happen to you. And for some reason many people never recognize this, or recognize it too late.

Erikc Perez-Perez

Not using a phone taught me what a phone is really for. It’s not for communicating with other people, getting directions, reading articles, looking at pictures, shopping for products, or playing games. A phone is a device for muting the anxieties proper to being alive. This is what all its functions and features ultimately achieve: cameras deliver ... See more

“— you know, I've either had a family, a job, something
has always been in the
way

but now
I've sold my house, I've found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I'm going to have a place and
the time to
create.'

no baby, if you're going to create
you're going to create whether you work
16 hours a day i

It turns out my really big problem was thinking I might one day get rid of all my problems, when the truth is that there's no escaping the mucky, malodorous compost-heap of this reality. Which is OK, actually. Compost is the stuff that helps things grow.

Oliver Burkeman • What if You Never Sort Your Life Out? | Oliver Burkeman

Man lives by time. Inventing the future has been his favorite game of escape. We think that changes in ourselves can come about in time, that order in ourselves can be built up little by little, added to day by day. But time doesn’t bring order or peace, so we must stop thinking in terms of gradualness. This means that there is no tomorrow for us t... See more

"...I have this feeling, that all it will take will be one moment, even a tiny moment, provided it's the correct one. Like a cord suddenly snapping and a thick curtain dropping to the floor to reveal a whole new world, a world full of sunlight and warmth. Mr Ryder, you look utterly incredulous. Am I completely mad to believe this? That despite all

People aren’t really looking to be economically stable before they start families; they’re looking to be existentially stable. They will opt-out of important life decisions altogether because they are waiting for the day when they will feel like more of a confident person with a firmer sense of self before making a commitment—not knowing that it’s

Susan would complain that the present, the life she was living moment to moment, felt unreal to her. Only the future really mattered, for that was where her ideal life resided. “If I just wait a little longer”, she would remark in a tone of wry despondency, “there’ll be this magically transformative event and everything will come right.”

This belie

To the kids who look like me (and the ones who don’t) don’t let anyone dim your light

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On the idea that magic only happens when you’ve paid your dues - it doesn’t happen magically on its own

“'When you found me wandering these streets just now, Mr Ryder, I wasn't simply taking the air as I pretended. I was trying to prepare myself. Because the possibility you mention, it naturally did occur to me. A night like tonight. Yes, many things are possible. So I was preparing myself. And I don't mind confessing to you, I am at this moment a li

“The idea of the future, pregnant with an infinity of possibilities, is thus more fruitful than the future itself,” Bergson wrote, “and this is why we find more charm in hope than in possession, in dreams than in reality.” Once again, the seemingly dispiriting message here is actually a liberating one. Since every real-world choice about how to liv... See more

Oliver Burkeman • What if You Never Sort Your Life Out? | Oliver Burkeman

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals