On love, limerence, and other-significant-others
by juliana ong · updated 11d ago
On love, limerence, and other-significant-others
- HEARTBREAK is unpreventable; the natural outcome of caring for people and things over which we have no control…
Heartbreak begins the moment we are asked to let go but cannot, in other words, it colors and inhabits and magnifies each and every day; heartbreak is not a visitation, but a path that human beings follow through even the most average life... See morejuliana ong added 6mo ago
- People are not reliable narrators of their heart’s desires. You have to listen to what they’re saying, but you also have to study their actual behavior and their previous partners to understand their real preferences.
juliana ong added 13d ago
- I miss the futile fantasizing and being the precise target demographic of Taylor Swift’s marketing efforts. I miss being on the floor, ready to nail-to-cross myself for love. The dull aftertaste of heartbreak lingering for days, often weeks. But then, you know, I look in the mirror, and I like what I see. I see that I’m protected and can think stra... See more
juliana ong added 5mo ago
- I believe most people we spend time with should be “low maintenance, high intimacy
from 30 more things I believe by Andrew Ettinger
juliana ong added 14d ago
- It's the feeling of being possessed by desire. When you ask people about being limerent it’s not atypical to hear “It almost ruined my life,” sometimes followed by “I miss the intensity of it.”
from The Agony of Eros: On Limerence - By Ava - Bookbear Express by Substack
juliana ong added 6mo ago
- codependency is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders; nor has there been substantial research on the concept. Some people may find it to be a useful tool for explaining bad relationship habits, but the term’s popularity also gestures at something worrisome: an avoidance of vulnerability and the natural asymmetries in rel... See more
juliana ong added 7mo ago
“The Myth of Codependency” Source
- I think about the relationships I’ve outgrown—because of my personal or political evolution—and how living in cities has meant I could let go of those relationships and form new ones. Whitney makes me wonder if that was the easy way out. I don’t think relationships need to be held on to forever just because they exist. Plenty of us have rightly fre... See more
from Notes & Highlights for How We Show Up by Mia Birdsong
juliana ong added 7mo ago
- You need some shared philosophy of what constitutes a meaningful life to sustain friendship over time. Why live here? Why work in this industry? What are we afraid of? What are we hopeful about? Do you know me, see me? Will you tell me when I’m wrong?
juliana ong added 6mo ago
- There’s a real tension in love — at the beginning of love, particularly — between the desire to be honest about who one is and the desire to win the affection of another person. Of course, ideally, we can both be honest and loved for being honest. That’s the dream.
from Aloneness, Belonging, and the Paradox of Vulnerability, in Love and Creative Work by Maria Popova
juliana ong added 14d ago