non-coercion

mel is spot-on. a critical part of reaching this stage of self-development and joyful discipline is truly, truly understanding what you actually like and what you actually value. there is often a chasm between our authentic self and our lived self ✨ let’s talk a little about how to close that gap ✨ knowing yourself is the first step, imo, to act... See more

Non-self-coercion basically says “just do what you intrinsically want to do”. That might sound very simple, but it actually isn’t, because in today’s world of overchoice and social competition it becomes evermore difficult for an individual to understand what they actually intrinsically want to do.

Non-self-coercion is therefore all about self-awareness and -acknowledgment and consequently locking in life goals and hobbies that are driven by pleasure rather than pain.

turns out if you let yourself want what you want*, everything is amazing (* instead of supposed-tos, shoulds, “if I were a good person, I’d…”s, rules, everybody else’s opinion, what’s ‘sane’, what’s ‘reasonable’, what you have worked out intellectually, etc.)

4/ You follow what you think you SHOULD do rather than what you want to do But when someone tries to force you to do something, your nature is to resist. This is true even when you try to force yourself with “shoulds” and “have tos.”

For most of my life, my decisions were driven by invisible shoulds which manifested as ambivalence. It’s not that I felt like I had no agency over my life, but I often felt indecisive at the trailhead of a big decision. I simply did not know myself well enough to make informed decisions on my own behalf. When I found myself at crossroads, it was ea... See more