non-coercion

Letting go of shoulds opens up the insight that there is nothing we HAVE to do in this life as long as we are willing to face the consequences of not doing it.

You don’t have to pay the bills, but you risk eviction. You don’t have to spend time with your spouse, but your relationship may deteriorate. You don’t have to exercise or eat healthy, but... See more

Before you begin meditating, it’s really helpful to adopt a permissive attitude towards your current state: however I am right now, it is fine. I like reminding myself that I don’t need to do anything to receive sensation—the universe will keep on being the universe, and interesting data will come to me, I don’t have to force anything. This can... See more

And, fundamentally, a critical attitude towards the current situation is detrimental to collectedness—it’s much easier to focus when you accept your current thoughts and emotions. Thus the most powerful meditation prompt I’ve ever heard, from Loch Kelly: “What is here now if there's no problem to solve?”

A term I saw on Twitter is “self-coercion.” I assume this means any time you make yourself do something you don’t want to do - the teeth gritted, white knuckle approach.

It would be extremely childish to imagine it was never necessary to do this. Sometimes we have to buckle down and do things which we would rather not.

BUT it should not be your... See more