non-coercion
let go of “should”
intrinsic motivation
non-coercion
Letting go of shoulds opens up the insight that there is nothing we HAVE to do in this life as long as we are willing to face the consequences of not doing it.
You don’t have to pay the bills, but you risk eviction. You don’t have to spend time with your spouse, but your relationship may deteriorate. You don’t have to exercise or eat healthy, but yo... See more
You don’t have to pay the bills, but you risk eviction. You don’t have to spend time with your spouse, but your relationship may deteriorate. You don’t have to exercise or eat healthy, but yo... See more
artemzen.substack.com
Before you begin meditating, it’s really helpful to adopt a permissive attitude towards your current state: however I am right now, it is fine. I like reminding myself that I don’t need to do anything to receive sensation—the universe will keep on being the universe, and interesting data will come to me, I don’t have to force anything. This can bri... See more
Sasha Chapin • What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Starting a Meditation Practice
And, fundamentally, a critical attitude towards the current situation is detrimental to collectedness—it’s much easier to focus when you accept your current thoughts and emotions. Thus the most powerful meditation prompt I’ve ever heard, from Loch Kelly: “What is here now if there's no problem to solve?”
Sasha Chapin • What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Starting a Meditation Practice
interesting discussion in the comments with Sasha Chapin
When I work with people navigating depression, here is the common pattern: They’re constantly beating themselves up.
“I should go outside.”
“I should work harder.”
“I shouldn't be depressed.”
"Shoulds" are anger directed inwards at yourself, which is why ...
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Joe Hudsonx.comthread
A term I saw on Twitter is “self-coercion.” I assume this means any time you make yourself do something you don’t want to do - the teeth gritted, white knuckle approach.
It would be extremely childish to imagine it was never necessary to do this. Sometimes we have to buckle down and do things which we would rather not.
BUT it should not be your prima... See more
It would be extremely childish to imagine it was never necessary to do this. Sometimes we have to buckle down and do things which we would rather not.
BUT it should not be your prima... See more
Self Discipline for Screwups
We are told that to live a good life, we must earn it.
So many of us have been taught to chase perfection our whole lives
- We should work harder
- We should manage ourselves better
- We should improve to become our highest selves
But ... See more
Joe Hudsonx.com4/ You follow what you think you SHOULD do rather than what you want to do
But when someone tries to force you to do something, your nature is to resist.
This is true even when you try to force yourself with “shoulds” and “have tos.”
Joe Hudsonx.com