Harmful, Internalized Concepts of Love (Hetero Female POV)
Alan Watts on The Most Fundamental Human Desire: To Love and Be Loved
youtube.comTransactional love vs real love
“What if boundaries and borders are actually the only way people can love each other equally and freely? What if, without those boundaries, love becomes an act of humanitarian aid?
The thing I have most wished for in this world is a love that has no borders. Which is to say unconditional love. And I thought that if I generously gave unconditional
... See more“It took a very long time for me to understand that while, yes, I had behaved badly in this relationship multiple times, and yes, I was full of sins and flaws, being loved by a person who saw the worst in me wasn’t the same as being honest and sorry about my failures. That it was possible to own and admit your mistakes without building a
... See more“It took a very long time for me to understand that while, yes, I had behaved badly in this relationship multiple times, and yes, I was full of sins and flaws, being loved by a person who saw the worst in me wasn’t the same as being honest and sorry about my failures. That it was possible to own and admit your mistakes without building a relationship around them.” - excerpt from CJ Hauser’s essay, “Hepburn qua hepburn” in her memoir essay novel “The Crane Wife” page 49.
On page 50, Hauser goes onto say, “There’s a difference between a person loving you for the person you really are and a person who sees the worst in you and relentlessly calls it out.”
“You call the boy at college and tell him about the playhouse closing. About Noto. And he also freaks out over the sadness and magic of it all. This is such a satisfying reaction that you are sure, all over again, that the two of you will last forever. Because he gets it. He understands about things like The Fantasticks, and Sandro’s singing, and
... See moreInteresting theory as to why you might have a compulsion to be with someone who makes you feel like you have something super special and unique that no one else can possibly understand (in a slightly toxic way?) … perhaps you have an underlying fear that you’re just normal, like everyone else.
Constellations round my waist
I’m wrapped in the winks of angels
Looking for a soul to save
Come collapse into my fable
Fly away with me, I’ll spin you tales
A pretty pipe dream
Whatever you need
I’ll change my whole world
Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl
A male fantasy
With a touch of crazy
I’ll light up your world
Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl
Implications, I fall
... See moreManic Pixie Dream Girl:
“an archetype that taps into a particular male fantasy: of being saved from depression and ennui by a fantasy woman who sweeps in like a glittery breeze to save you from yourself, then disappears once her work is done.”
A stock character type in fiction, usually depicted as a young woman with eccentric personality quirks who serves as the romantic interest for a male protagonist.
Excerpt from CJ Hauser’s essay “Hepburn qua hepburn” in her memoir collection “The Crane Wife” page 45.
She goes onto say on the next page, “I was in my mid-twenties when I started seeing, in Liz Imbrie’s face, both pain and the stifling of pain, as Connor, not unlike Tracy, continually trots after the next thing that makes him feel like the kind of person he wants to be.”
Don’t we all want to date someone who makes us feel like the version of ourselves we like? I think that the chase from one person to the next is the toxicity at play.