loving the process

All desire is a desire for being.”

We think we want things, but every desire points to a way of life, a kind of person we long to become. Objects seduce us not with their utility but with their promise of transcendence—status, attention, belonging.

“One of the most satisfying feelings I know — and also one of the most growth-promoting experiences for the other person — comes from my appreciating this individual in the same way that I appreciate a sunset. People are just as wonderful as sunsets if I can let them be. In fact, perhaps the reason we can truly appreciate a sunset is that we cannot

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Again, the idea of manifesting your own ideas of success, your reasons for life, plays a huge role here. It allows ego to be put to the side in favor of accomplishing a common goal, an idea that we can do it differently this time.

The way of the tourist is to consume; the way of the pilgrim is to be consumed. To the tourist the journey is a means. The pilgrim understands that it is both a means and an end in itself. The tourist and the pilgrim experience time differently. For the former, time is the foe that gives consumption its urgency. For the latter, time is a gift in... See more

Expected elation. Society has built a world that defines what's appealing and what's not. What success should look like. I spent years chasing this idea, and achieved it. And never felt truly happy. Why? It seems so obvious, there are a million songs and movies about how wealth and fame aren't the end all be all for human states. Yet we pursue it... See more

In the early 20th century, Rilke wrote a wonderful series of letters to a young poet in which he counseled, "Be patient with all that is unresolved in your heart." He said, "Try to love the questions themselves as though they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language." He said, "Don't try to reach for the answers which could not... See more

I can chart the exact moments of inflection where I was being pushed to rise to a new level of worth and, instead, took what was on offer. Said yes when it didn’t feel right. Gave something valuable away because I didn’t even know it was valuable. Took whatever was offered to me instead of saying no, and demanding options. Being so impatient to... See more