Humor
Generation X: 1965-1980 – Raised on hose water and neglect.
Sorry I slapped you, but it didn't seem like you'd ever stop talking and I panicked.
I left the house lookin’ like a bag of smashed crabs.
My childhood punishments have become my adult goals:
Going to bed early
Not leaving my house
Not going to a party
My plan to be positive today is off to a fucking shitty start.
Some things are better left unsaid. Which I generally realize right after I have said them.
On Trump: “If someone close to you behaved this way, you would desperately try to get them psychiatric help.”
Having a daughter is like having a broke best friend who thinks you're rich.
I had my patience tested. I’m negative.