HealthyAttachment

R E S P O N S I V E N E S S They can respond to what’s actually happening in the moment and then adjust accordingly based on what happens in the very next moment. They are good at the ‘dance’ of relationships and ‘serve and return.’

F L E X I B I L I T Y They are good at providing structure and predictability yet comfortable veering off when necessary

We need connection to survive. Physically. First and foremost, our attachment system keeps us alive.

SECURE ATTACHMENT = ATTUNEMENT + RUPTURE + REPAIR

A secure attachment combined with the cultivation of competency builds an internal locus of control, the key factor in healthy coping throughout life.7 Securely attached children learn what makes them feel good; they discover what makes them (and others) feel bad, and they acquire a sense of agency: that their actions can change how they feel and

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C A P A C I T Y F O R R E P A I R No caregiver is perfect and secure attachment does not come from an adult who meets their child’s needs all the time. Secure attachment is actually largely born out of the times a caregiver initiates a repair after they’ve had some sort of rupture with a child. Adults with secure attachment can see a rupture has... See more

Because of their own attachment experiences and the accompanying neurobiology, the caregiver feels their baby’s distress and begins to have their own distress. In a way, the baby’s distress and the caregiver’s distress begins to merge.