HealthyAttachment

C A P A C I T Y F O R R E P A I R No caregiver is perfect and secure attachment does not come from an adult who meets their child’s needs all the time. Secure attachment is actually largely born out of the times a caregiver initiates a repair after they’ve had some sort of rupture with a child. Adults with secure attachment can see a rupture has... See more

F L E X I B I L I T Y They are good at providing structure and predictability yet comfortable veering off when necessary

As the baby explores the world or begins to create separation from their caregiver with insecure anxious attachment, this distresses the caregiver who often has subtle (or not so subtle) behaviors of dysregulation. The baby figures this out quickly, and because their primary concern is keeping their caregiver regulated so that they can experience... See more

Babies with insecure anxious attachment try to meet their caregiver’s needs so their caregiver can be regulated enough to then be present and meet the baby’s needs. If a baby can’t receive the external regulation they need, they are going to adjust themselves so that at least their caregiver can be present- this let’s the baby be seen!!!

R E S P O N S I V E N E S S They can respond to what’s actually happening in the moment and then adjust accordingly based on what happens in the very next moment. They are good at the ‘dance’ of relationships and ‘serve and return.’

We need connection to survive. Physically. First and foremost, our attachment system keeps us alive.

A secure attachment combined with the cultivation of competency builds an internal locus of control, the key factor in healthy coping throughout life.7 Securely attached children learn what makes them feel good; they discover what makes them (and others) feel bad, and they acquire a sense of agency: that their actions can change how they feel and

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