HealthyAttachment
Lying
Explores the reasons behind lying, emphasizing that it often stems from a lack of safety, both relational and emotional, and encourages understanding dysregulation over focusing solely on honesty.
robyngobbel.comLying sometimes protection
Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (June 2023) on Vimeo
player.vimeo.comThese beliefs about ourselves, the world, and other people ultimately become like a pair of colored glasses we can never take off or even know we are wearing. They impact how we see and experience everything.
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
SECURE ATTACHMENT = ATTUNEMENT + RUPTURE + REPAIR
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
As the baby explores the world or begins to create separation from their caregiver with insecure anxious attachment, this distresses the caregiver who often has subtle (or not so subtle) behaviors of dysregulation. The baby figures this out quickly, and because their primary concern is keeping their caregiver regulated so that they can experience b... See more
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
the child adapts their behavior to keep the adults regulated rather than self-regulation…
Because of their own attachment experiences and the accompanying neurobiology, the caregiver feels their baby’s distress and begins to have their own distress. In a way, the baby’s distress and the caregiver’s distress begins to merge.
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
Insecure Anxious Attachment
Modern attachment theories, such as those proposed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, emphasize how stable, responsive caregivers create a “secure base” from which individuals can explore the world and cope with stress. The biblical themes mentioned—hopeful, rooted, patient, secure, calm—can be seen as spiritual parallels to this concept of a secur
... See moreIsaiah 11:1
1 There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit.
Isaiah 54:10
10 For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
E M O T I O N R E G U L A T I O N While certainly no human is emotionally regulated all the time, adults with secure attachment have a pretty wide capacity for staying regulated in the face of their child’s dysregulation. This is super important because if a crying baby (dysregulated) always created significant dysregulation in their caregiver, the... See more
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
C A P A C I T Y F O R R E P A I R No caregiver is perfect and secure attachment does not come from an adult who meets their child’s needs all the time. Secure attachment is actually largely born out of the times a caregiver initiates a repair after they’ve had some sort of rupture with a child. Adults with secure attachment can see a rupture has oc... See more