HealthyAttachment
Modern attachment theories, such as those proposed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, emphasize how stable, responsive caregivers create a “secure base” from which individuals can explore the world and cope with stress. The biblical themes mentioned—hopeful, rooted, patient, secure, calm—can be seen as spiritual parallels to this concept of a secur
... See moreIsaiah 11:1
1 There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit.
Isaiah 54:10
10 For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
A secure attachment combined with the cultivation of competency builds an internal locus of control, the key factor in healthy coping throughout life.7 Securely attached children learn what makes them feel good; they discover what makes them (and others) feel bad, and they acquire a sense of agency: that their actions can change how they feel and h
... See moreBessel van der Kolk • The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Children become attached to whoever functions as their primary caregiver. But the nature of that attachment—whether it is secure or insecure—makes a huge difference over the course of a child’s life. Secure attachment develops when caregiving includes emotional attunement. Attunement starts at the most subtle physical levels of interaction between
... See moreBessel van der Kolk • The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
E M O T I O N R E G U L A T I O N While certainly no human is emotionally regulated all the time, adults with secure attachment have a pretty wide capacity for staying regulated in the face of their child’s dysregulation. This is super important because if a crying baby (dysregulated) always created significant dysregulation in their caregiver, the... See more
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
Because of their own attachment experiences and the accompanying neurobiology, the caregiver feels their baby’s distress and begins to have their own distress. In a way, the baby’s distress and the caregiver’s distress begins to merge.
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
Insecure Anxious Attachment
SECURE ATTACHMENT = ATTUNEMENT + RUPTURE + REPAIR
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
Babies with insecure anxious attachment try to meet their caregiver’s needs so their caregiver can be regulated enough to then be present and meet the baby’s needs. If a baby can’t receive the external regulation they need, they are going to adjust themselves so that at least their caregiver can be present- this let’s the baby be seen!!!
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
C A P A C I T Y F O R R E P A I R No caregiver is perfect and secure attachment does not come from an adult who meets their child’s needs all the time. Secure attachment is actually largely born out of the times a caregiver initiates a repair after they’ve had some sort of rupture with a child. Adults with secure attachment can see a rupture has oc... See more
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
R E S P O N S I V E N E S S They can respond to what’s actually happening in the moment and then adjust accordingly based on what happens in the very next moment. They are good at the ‘dance’ of relationships and ‘serve and return.’